#especially when it's in a negative sense. which let's face it it usually is

[snixx]

people who make uncalled for comments about their opinion on my physical appearance I hope you trip on your own foot and fall flat on your face:)

[ot8xbangchansgirlsblog]

ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕡𝕒𝕔𝕜🧸

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ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕨𝕠: Why is she here?

Word count: 3832

Summary: In this chapter, Felix anxiously prepares for Y/N, their new pack member, to arrive at their home. Despite Chan’s announcement generating excitement, some pack members, especially Hyunjin and Seungmin, are skeptical. Felix reassures Y/N that the pack is eager to meet her, even though he senses underlying tension. Upon arrival, Y/N is greeted warmly by Minho and Han, which helps ease her anxiety. Felix explains the pack’s bond, which allows them to communicate and sense each other’s emotions. Though apprehensive about the bond, Y/N finds comfort in Felix’s support. During dinner, the atmosphere turns tense when Hyunjin and Seungmin express disapproval of Y/N’s inclusion, leading to a confrontation. Upset and overwhelmed, Y/N has a panic attack. Felix comforts her, helping her calm down and feel more at ease despite the rocky start.

Warning: Angst/comfort, cursing, hate, insecurities,

It had been about 15 minutes when Felix, the only person awake at the moment, noticed that they were approaching the house. His nerves grew as he worried that the boys wouldn't like her. The group chat began to buzz when Chan announced the new member of the pack. As usual, everyone except Han was skeptical about the situation, but they were also buzzing with excitement.

"If you all are sure about it, then I am," Changbin said through the bond for everyone to hear.

"I'm with Changbin. I trust you guys, so if you're so sure about it, then let's see where this takes us," Minho adds to the conversation.

Sometimes, Felix wondered why they even needed to text each other when they had a bond and could communicate through it. However, Chan said that texting was important for their human connection and that they needed to learn social skills, which was a fair point after all. Chan knew best.

"Thank you Mingi," Felix politely said as they stopped in front of the house. He turned to Y/n and gently pushed her hair away from her face, revealing a small beauty mark that resembled Hyunjin's.

"Y/n, we're here," Felix murmured softly, gently shaking her awake. She blinked, taking in the imposing structure of the house before them. The sight of it made her heart race. Was this really happening? Was this grand building about to become her new home? Her mind swirled with worries—what if the pack didn't accept her? What if she made a mistake? What if—

"Hey, stop overthinking," Felix said, trying to sound reassuring. "I'm nervous too, but believe me, they're excited to meet you. I can feel it through the bond." It wasn't entirely true—Felix did sense the excitement the pack was feeling through the bond, but he was also acutely aware of the frustrations and anger simmering beneath the surface, which churned his stomach.

He couldn't ignore the undercurrent of tension from Hyunjin and Seungmin. It hurt to think that two members of the pack, were already shutting her down with such negative feelings toward her when they barely knew. He understood their protective instincts and where they were coming from—they had always been like this ever since... well, ever since he had left. Felix knew that their feelings came from a place of deep loyalty and protectiveness for their home and pack.

"Really?" she asked, a wave of relief washing over her as his reassuring words eased her anxiety. She felt a surge of confidence and was finally able to take a deep breath. "Wow," she murmured, her eyes widening as she took in the grandeur of the building. "You all live here?"

"Yeah, it's amazing, right?" Felix replied with a grin. "Minho-hyung put so much effort into building it. He wanted it to be nestled by the forest, and Chan, being all love-struck, was totally on board. Now we can go hunting, fishing, or just let our wolves roam whenever we want." As they stepped inside, Y/N was greeted by a jumble of shoes at the entrance and a medley of sweet scents that instantly made her omega purr with contentment.

"I'm home!" Felix called out cheerfully as he stepped through the door. "Leave your shoes here," he instructed, and Y/N followed his lead, slipping off her shoes.

"Finally, Lix! Dinner is ready! Go wash up and—oh, hello! Who's your new friend, Lixie?" A strikingly handsome man appeared, his face beaming with a radiant smile. He wore an apron smeared with flour, which made Y/n chuckle.

"Minho-hyung!" Felix groaned in mock exasperation as he tiptoed to wipe the flour off Minho's face. "I told you to act natural, but you're terrible at it." He planted a quick kiss on Minho's lips before turning back to Y/N, who was smiling warmly at the scene.

"Okay, okay, I know," Minho said with a playful roll of his eyes. "But how was I supposed to act natural when you texted the group screaming that you'd found the last soulmate?" He huffed dramatically, still teasing Felix as he continued to fuss with his apron.

"Yeah, I didn't quite think that through..." Felix mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Anyway, Y/N, this is Minho—or Minnie, or babe, or baby, or—"

"Okay, okay, I think she gets the point, Felix!" Minho interrupted with a groan, ruffling Felix's hair affectionately. He turned to Y/N with a gentle smile, as if she were the most delicate thing in the world. "Hey there," he said softly, "It's really nice to meet you. You're absolutely beautiful."

Y/N blushed deeply, her cheeks turning a soft pink as her omega purred in delight at the warm welcome. "T-thank you, Beta," she responded shyly, her voice trembling with emotion. "It's nice to meet you too, Minho. You smell really nice, and you're so pretty." She gazed up at him through her long lashes, and Minho's heart nearly burst with happiness.

"Thank you," Minho said warmly, his eyes shining. "I made a big meal to welcome you to the pack. Why don't you wash up with Felix and then come join us? I'm sure you're starving." As if on cue, her stomach rumbled, drawn by the tantalizing aroma of the food cooking in the kitchen. She nodded, her face flushing with embarrassment.

"Thank you, it really means a lot," Y/N said, bowing slightly. Before she could straighten up, Felix had already tugged her past Minho and into the living room.

"Oh my God, I need to give you a tour of the house," Felix said with a chuckle, "but first, you might want to brace yourself."

"What do you mean, Felix—" Y/N started, but her question was cut off as Felix suddenly called out, "Han! Guess who's here!"

Confused, Y/N barely had time to react before she heard rapid footsteps descending the stairs, accompanied by a fresh, fruity scent—cherries and sweet lemon.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming!" chanted a brown-haired boy as he flew down the stairs, nearly tripping over himself. Without hesitation, he leaped into Y/N's arms, snuggling against her as if she were his long-lost friend. "I'm here!" he cheered, burrowing into her embrace like an exuberant puppy. Y/N giggled, trying to keep her balance as she held the enthusiastic boy.

His large, brown eyes and round cheeks made her coo at his cuteness, reminiscent of a fluffy squirrel. He pulled back slightly to touch her face. "So pretty," he whispered in awe.

"Told you," Felix said with a grin, watching the scene unfold. Han then threw his arms around Felix in a tight hug, showering his face with kisses. "Felix, you did it! You found the last piece! She's so... SHE'S SO..."

"Breathtaking!" a deep voice boomed from the corner. Everyone turned to see a muscular, imposing figure stepping into the room, his presence commanding immediate attention.

"Binnie! Hey! Come say hi to Y/N!" Felix called, waving enthusiastically. Y/N's heart skipped a beat as she recognized the strong scent of mint and rainy forest emanating from the approaching figure. An alpha. Though she wasn't terrified, she couldn't shake off the lingering trauma from her past. Her instincts made her take a hesitant step back behind Felix, causing a flash of hurt to cross Felix's face.

"Hey, he won't hurt you," Felix said softly, his voice tinged with concern. "This is Changbin, remember? I told you about him. I know alphas can be intimidating, but I promise you he's really nice. I'll be right here with you." He squeezed her hand reassuringly.

Y/N nodded slowly, forcing a smile as she extended a hand towards Changbin. "H-hey, Binnie. It's nice to meet you," she said quietly.

Changbin's face lit up with a relieved smile as he took her hand gently and kissed it. "Hey there, little one. It's nice to meet you too. Welcome to the pack. I hope my scent doesn't trouble you," he said softly.

"No, it won't," Y/N replied, tracing her fingers over the spot he had kissed. "I just need some time to get used to it, Changbin. But judging by how my omega is reacting, she really likes you." She looked into his eyes earnestly. "Please be patient with me?"

"Of course, love. Just know that you're one of us now, and no alpha will ever lay a hand on you," Changbin said, his hand gently resting on her chin as he rubbed his thumb across her cheeks, which were now flushed with a rosy hue.

"Ugh, seriously?" Minho's voice came from the kitchen door, dripping with mock disgust. "There are people around! And didn't I tell you two to wash up? Dinner's going to get cold!" The boys groaned in unison as Felix quickly pulled Y/N away, leading her up the stairs.

"Sorry about that," Felix said, a bit flustered as he led her through a maze of corridors. "They get a little clingy when they meet new people."

"It's okay," Y/N reassured him with a small smile. "They seem really nice. Where are the rest?"

Felix stopped in front of a door painted blue with his name on it. "Just a sec. I'll check with I.N." Instead of pulling out a phone or walking to I.N's room, Felix closed his eyes, focusing intently. After a moment, he exhaled and said, "He's in the downstairs gym but he'll be up soon."

Y/N looked at him, intrigued. "How did you...?"

Right..she didn't know about the telepathy. "We can communicate through the bond," Felix explained as he sat down on the bed, removing his sweater. "Have you heard of it?"

"Bond? No, I don't know what that is," she admitted, shaking her head.

"Well," Felix patted the bed beside him, inviting her to sit, "when we became a pack, Channie hyung taught us how to use the bond. It's a way we can communicate and feel each other's emotions. We can even see what someone else is seeing sometimes. It's a bit complicated and might seem strange at first, especially when he marks you. It's a bit embarrassing because we can see, hear, and feel everything you do."

As Felix spoke, Y/N's eyes widened in apprehension. "That sounds... intense."

"Yeah, it can be overwhelming at first," Felix said with a comforting smile. "But you'll get used to it. And remember, it's all about being connected and supporting each other."

"Don't worry, it's not scary at all," Felix said, waving his hands as if to reassure her. He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek, making her blink in surprise. The warmth of the gesture was comforting, and despite her initial shock, she couldn't help but feel a flutter inside. After all, he was undeniably attractive. "Would you like to shower first?" he asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from the more overwhelming aspects of their pack's secrets. Felix knew Chan could explain things in a way that would be less daunting for her. After all, he'd once been the new omega himself.

"Yes, please. But I don't have any clothes," she said, glancing down at her old maid's outfit with a frown.

"No problem," Felix said with an encouraging smile. He reached into his wardrobe and pulled out a towel. "I can get you one of my pajamas. Just go ahead." He gently nudged her toward the bathroom, then turned on the water for her. "This is how you turn on the cold water, and this is how you turn on the hot water," he explained, guiding her step by step. She nodded, memorizing each instruction as she absorbed the information.

"Um, Felix?" she said softly, her voice carrying a note of uncertainty.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for everything, really. You're such an angel. I don't know how I could ever repay you," she said, her gaze dropping to the floor as she thought about her uncertain future—probably facing starvation in a dungeon somewhere.

"You don't have to thank me, my love. That's what soulmates are for," Felix said, nuzzling her cheek gently. His touch elicited a soft purr and a contented whine from her omega. "But I do have one request," he added shyly.

""What is it? I'm open to anything," she said quickly, snapping out of her trance and looking up at him.

"C—can you remove your patches?" Felix asked, his voice tinged with frustration. "My omega keeps whining because we can't smell you." His annoyance was directed more at his own omega's insistence than at her. Her eyes widened, and she instinctively placed her hands on her glands, a look of embarrassment crossing her face.

"I—Felix, I wish I could, but... my scent is rotting right now—"

"What? Why?" Felix's concern was evident as he interrupted, his face falling as realization dawned on him. "That only happens when you're... oh." His whisper was filled with regret.

"Yeah," she said softly. "But I promise I'll remove them once I'm feeling better. Please?"

"Of course," Felix said, his voice softening. "I'll get more patches for you." He quickly left the room, and Y/n let out a sigh of relief as she closed the door behind him.

She stepped into the shower, finally peeling off the itchy patches. The hot water felt soothing against her skin, easing some of her tension. As she let the water cascade over her, she traced her fingers over the bruises covering her body—old and new, a mix of purples, blues, and yellows. She winced as her fingers brushed against one particularly sore spot, her mind drifting back to the moment she'd sustained it. The pain was a stark reminder of the trials she'd endured

🍄🌻🥞🌿

"Here you go," Felix said softly, handing her a box of patches and a steaming cup of tea. "This should help with the um... subdrop. Minho works with medicine and he said it might clear up the rotting scent, though it won't do much for how you're feeling," he explained delicately. "I hope it's okay that I told him..."

"It's okay, Lixie. Thank you." She accepted the tea gratefully, taking a soothing sip as Felix slipped into his pajamas. He then gently began braiding her hair, his touch light and comforting. "I.N is here," he whispered, just as a knock resonated through the room. Felix's face lit up with a smile as he opened the door, only to be enveloped in a warm hug. The alpha then placed a tender kiss on Felix's lips before stepping into the room, his grin bright and welcoming.

"Y/n, this is Innie," Felix said, his voice filled with affection. "He's the youngest alpha and the youngest of the pack. He's really sweet." Felix ruffled Innie's hair playfully before settling back down beside Y/n, who offered a shy wave.

"It's nice to meet you, Alpha," she said, bowing slightly as she took in his scent of chocolate and peppermint, which filled the room with a comforting aroma.

"Ah, I see," Innie cooed, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "So, they were calling you two the 'sunshine twins.'" He smiled warmly at them both.

"Innie! Stop it," Felix whined, his cheeks flushing a deep red as he covered his face.

"Yah! Stop being so cute!" Innie teased, his voice filled with warmth. "It's so nice to meet you, Y/n. Let's head downstairs to eat before Minho goes mad. Chan just got back from the company. Come on," he said, extending his hand.

Y/n glanced at Felix for reassurance, who nodded encouragingly. She took Innie's hand and then reached for Felix's, the three of them making their way downstairs together. They entered the dining area where all eight packmates were seated, patiently waiting. Y/n offered a quick bow and a wave before sitting next to Felix, feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement as she joined her new packmates for the meal.

"So, Y/n, I trust you've met everyone?" Chan's voice filled the room, drawing everyone's attention to her. She looked around and replied, "No, Alpha. I've met 6 out of the 8."

The room was rich with various scents, each contributing to an overall feeling of safety and sweetness, though there was a faint, sour note in the mix.

"She's really sweet, Hyung. She got along just fine with I.N and Changbin," Felix said, his pride evident as he spoke. Chan nodded in approval before taking another bite of his meal.

"That's good to hear. If you need anything, Y/n, don't hesitate to let me know or just talk to Felix or Han," Chan offered her a polite smile. "I'd like to have a chat with you after dinner, if that's alright."

"I'm perfectly okay with that, Oppa," she replied quickly, eager to show her willingness to integrate.

"Alright, enough talk. Welcome to the pack, little one!" Leeknow exclaimed, giving her a friendly ruffle of her hair and adding more meat to her plate. The room erupted in cheerful applause, but Y/n couldn't help noticing the two betas sitting together, casting her sharp, disapproving glances.

One started to speak up but whas quickly shut down by Chan. "Hyung, are you sure—"

"Not now, Hyunjin. Don't ruin the night," Chan cut off the blonde boy, who was seated next to him. Y/N hadn't met either of them yet, nor the other guy with brown hair and blonde streaks. She could tell they were betas and, judging by their expressions, they weren't thrilled about her presence.

Her ears twitched as she overheard snippets of the conversation, but her attention was soon captured by Han, who cheerfully linked their hands together, offering her a warm smile.

"We should go shopping tomorrow, Y/nnie!" Han exclaimed, running his fingers through her long hair with a bright smile. "Felix and I will take you."

"That's exactly what I was thinking, Han!" Felix chimed in enthusiastically from beside her. "Great minds think alike," he added with a boastful grin.

"I—I would love that, but I don't have any money," she hesitated, feeling a bit self-conscious.

"Don't worry about that!" Han waved off her concern with a playful flick of his hand. "That's why we have Chan and Changbin's credit cards. We never go broke. So stop pouting!"

Despite Han's cheerful reassurance, Y/n couldn't shake off the pang of guilt. "I couldn't— I mean, you guys have already welcomed me into your home. I honestly couldn't impose."

"Y/n, you're part of the pack now," Han insisted with a grin. "You don't have a choice. Let us love you and treat you right! Pretty pleaseee?"

"They won't stop until you say yes," Changbin added with a chuckle, startling Y/n as she hadn't realized he was listening. His presence was subtle but his voice carried well, especially against Han's enthusiastic chatter. "So just agree."

"Fine, we can go shopping, Han—"

"And also get nesting supplies—"

"And room decor," Felix interjected with a wink.

Y/n couldn't help but smile at their excitement, feeling a bit overwhelmed but also touched by their eagerness to include her.

"Yeah, you're right," Han continued, his eyes gleaming with excitement. "We can also get her hair and nails done—"

Y/n glanced back and forth between Han and Felix as they eagerly planned out the next day. She couldn't help but smile at their enthusiasm and care, touched by their efforts to make her feel at home. Her gaze drifted back to her plate, but her attention was soon drawn when her name was called from the other end of the table.

"Yes, Oppa?" she responded, looking up at Leeknow.

"I need to know your dietary requirements so I don't accidentally cook something that might make you sick," Leeknow said with a friendly smile.

"Oh, Hyung! You didn't ask us for our dietary requirements," I.N whined from his seat across the table.

"Yeah, well, that's because I don't need to worry about you lot," Leeknow retorted with a snicker. "You guys eat like a small army!"

"Meanie," I.N muttered, giving Leeknow a mock glare.

The sudden loud thump of Hyunjins's fist hitting the table made Y/N flinch. Instinctively, she nuzzled into Felix, seeking comfort from the commotion. Felix wrapped an arm around her, offering a reassuring squeeze as he gave her a warm, comforting smile.

"Hyunjin, don't—"

"No, Chan! You're acting like she's the Luna or something. She's messing up our dynamics!" Hyunjin's voice was sharp, cutting through the room. Every eye turned to him in shock, except for the beta, who merely looked bored.

"You didn't even consult us about adding someone new to the pack," Hyunjin continued, his frustration palpable.

"Hyunjin, stop it! We were always meant to be nine, not eight," Changbin growled, his scent growing increasingly sour. Felix's grip on Y/n tightened, his own scent turning bitter.

"Did you really have to do this in front of her?" Leeknow's voice was a low hiss, his irritation evident.

"He's right, Hyung. You can't just expect us to accept a random, lawless omega—"

"Seungmin, that's harsh! Why would you say something like that?" Han's voice rose in defense, standing up to protect Y/n.

"I-I can leave," Y/n whispered, barely audible. Tears welled up in her eyes as she choked on her words, her heart sinking. She had feared this moment, and now it felt like her worst fears were coming true.

"Felix, take Y/n to the living room. I'll be there in a minute," Chan ordered, his tone icy as he glared at the two betas who had soured the evening.

Without another word, Felix lifted Y/n from her seat and carried her down the hall. As they left, the last thing she heard was Hyunjin's bitter remark: "You're trusting someone we don't even know with Felix? That's absolute bullshit."

They entered a large room with dim lighting, cozy couches, and blankets scattered around. A massive flat-screen TV was mounted on the wall, and a bar was set up in the corner. Her knees gave out, and she sank onto a couch, curling up into herself. Quiet sniffles escaped her as she struggled to hold back her tears, overwhelmed by the sharp sting of rejection.

"Hey... it's okay. No need to cry. I'm sorry—"

"Please don't..." Y/n whispered, her voice barely more than a breath. Her fingers trembled as she picked at the frayed edges of her hoodie, her panic escalating into a storm that churned in her chest. Every breath felt shallow and tight, her heartbeat a frantic drum in her ears. The room seemed to close in around her, a suffocating presence of her fears and insecurities. She felt an overwhelming wave of shame and self-loathing crash over her, thoughts spiraling in a dark vortex of self-doubt. No one would want a ruined omega. They were dirty, used, and unworthy—

"Breathe, Y/n. Breathe for me, please. You're panicking," Felix's voice cut through the storm. His eyes, full of concern, locked onto hers, grounding her in the chaos. "You don't have to talk, but you need to try and calm down, okay?"

She turned away, her breathing ragged and uneven, but his hands gently guided her into a hug. The warmth of his embrace enveloped her, his scent—a soothing blend of cedar and honey—washing over her in waves. "I'm right here. No one is going to hurt you. Not while I'm here. Those two are just being pricks. I promise, we all want you here..."

As Felix's scent enveloped her, her frantic thoughts began to blur, the edge of her anxiety softening. Her body felt like it was melting into his embrace, every tense muscle loosening under his tender care. "There we go... nice and easy," he whispered, his voice a soft, reassuring murmur. He continued to coo softly, his gentle presence a balm to her frayed nerves, slowly pulling her back from the precipice of her panic.

🍄🌻🥞🌿

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Taglist: @ihrtlix @bowsnbang @katsukis1wife @thegingerthatwaited (open)

[fxirybun]

🌺 PAC: what's stopping you from entering your desired reality ?

a reality shifting pac that discusses about the problem in trying to enter into your DR.

this is a collective reading ! take what resonates and leave what doesn't. i cannot guarantee 100% accuracy. take the pac reading lightly ჱ̒ ｰ̀֊ｰ́ )

ෆ⸒⸒ blue hibiscus 💠

hello pile one ! i'm sensing this heavy energy coming from you and it seems that you're not in tune with your emotions. for some of you , there are some kind of blockages when it comes to the mind and the heart that are preventing you from entering into your dr state. it seems that you have unresolved issues within yourself that you can't seem to let go of. you have this unwanted fear or anxiety that you wouldn't be able to enter into your dr successfully and because of it , you're being held back in achieving your goal. these negative thoughts and feelings are clouding your perception , making it difficult for you. you're aware of this problem yet you seem to be ignoring what your intuition is telling you.

for some of you , you're enabling yourself to be trapped by the negative thoughts that you've made. my advice for you is to confront your self-doubt face-to-face when it comes to trying to enter into your DR. there is something or someone that is putting a hindrance in your current situation that made you have this undesirable feeling that is stirring you. if so , you need to set yourself free from it by simply cutting it out of your life since this circumstance is no longer fulfilling you , creating a delay. once you have made the necessary decision you'll be able to shift quickly and make way for your DR. this action will serve as a new journey for you , be open to this change.

ෆ⸒⸒ yellow hibiscus 🌼

hi there pile two ! the word "frustration" pops up in my mind when i shuffle the cards. i sensed that you're not grounding yourself and at the same time you're putting so much strain on trying to work hard in stepping into your DR. some of you may have poured your attention on this matter which led you to neglect your well-being as a human. not being able to invest in yourself is what hinders you from trying to manifest the reality that you desire. it seems to me that some of you are deemed a perfectionist , paying attention to details and trying to keep things in order. it is possible that your plan or script for your DR lacks organization.

furthermore , i felt that you're not seeing the entire picture of what you're trying to achieve from it. in order for you to enter your DR you need to be consistent as it requires more effort than you realized. some of you have this kind of uncertainty about whether your DR will come to fruition. there's a chance that what's stopping you from doing so is you have this hesitant energy to take advantage of a specific opportunity. it's as if luck was on your side one moment ago yet it got slipped away because you didn't recognize it sooner , not being able to seize it in time when you needed it the most in attaining your DR.

ෆ⸒⸒ pink hibiscus 🌸

greetings to you pile three ! i have the feeling that you're holding onto things tightly that are deemed important to you. this behavior is limiting you in being open to other techniques that can increase your chance of achieving your DR. some of you may have a fear of taking risks and making some changes in your usual routine that are necessary. i also sensed this missing piece within you about this matter. perhaps you're not seeing progress with this plan , leaving you at a standstill. the cause of it could be due to writer's block wherein you can't flesh out the ideas that you have for your DR. these factors are what cause you to have a delay from entering.

some of you may have unresolved problems that need to be addressed. these issues seem to take a toll on you that is preventing you from moving forward. moreover , i sensed a lack of experience in dealing with your DR. you might need to develop your skills , especially in the creative sector as well as gain new information. you may as well need to make an unconventional approach too as a way of dealing with this stagnant stage in your occurring life. one of my advice for you pile three is to try to focus on your personal growth through means of making some alternatives , confronting your emotional needs or issues , and as well as nurturing your soul.

[another-day]

time for another lovely EPISODE IN REVIEW!!! and boy, do we have a lot to discuss for this one

!!!SPOILERS FOR II EPISODE 16!!!

oh my gosh

that episode was insane, i’m still reeling from it, but let’s start from the beginning

i remember seeing a post somewhere where someone was saying 3gs would most likely have a very ‘army general’ type personality, and i think that still holds, just not to the degree i intially thought

he’s someone who focuses on motivation and praise to not only please but get people to follow through. this is not in the way of manipulation, just in order to get what needs to be done, done. expanding on his personality like this was so interesting, especially interspersing his moments of fear with his moments of joy because he hadn’t seen other people in years. it really goes to show how cobs can negatively affect other characters than mephone 4.

trophy has really grown as a character in the sense that he can now see the fundamental flaws in the persona of knife, though i do feel he’s still heavily guided in this by his own values. he has this firm belief that knife is similar if not the exact same as him; angry and violent. he breaks down all of the cracks in knife’s facade, but incorrectly so, which was interesting.

alongside this, knife is shown to still be perceived incorrectly to how wishes to be by many of the contestants. considering he’s trying to make such an effort to change and become a good person only for trophy to treat him like this is clearly dishesrtening to him. as much as he likes to build up his whole tough guy persona, in this episode and the last, we’ve seen that the words of others, especially those he considers allies, can really affect him. granted, trophy is no ally of his, but it still has an impact on him to be so shamelessly called out, even if a lot of it is assumption.

i love that they make everyone’s attempts to comfort suitcase feel so condescending in order to emphasise her confusion and disarray in terms of the situation. this feels like a circus, where suitcase is realising she’s a clown for being fooled. i love her reaction to realising nickel and balloon are friends because she has that underlying anger, yes, but more than anything else she’s confused and upset. soooo cool.

i nearly screamed but it was two in the morning when i was watching this so i did not.

but oh my gosh, the idea of “deleting” a character is horrifying. as taco put it, seeing “the life drain out of him” must’ve been horrifying for her. this, oj’s, and nickel’s deletion are only amped up by this prospect of having people around to see the life drain out of someone they were once friends with.

also why did it have to be pickle. literally what did he do.

also also, now we know what happened to toilet i guess.

forshadowing cobs being able to see wherever they go, alongside how everything of theirs in under control, even if not by cobs.

cobs is meant to parallel mephone 4 in this scene. his advertisment is very “brainwash”-y, and it emphasises what a hold he used to have on people and the control he once held through his creations. similarly so, through the reveal at the end, WHICH I’LL GET TO, we see that mephone similarly has control over all of the contestants, whether direct or otherwise. so very peculiar really.

depicting the death scenes like this was brilliant. a persuing entity, sounded by alarms that only the person who is to be killed can hear is a horrifying concept, and something so horrifying from an outsider perspective.

imagine this from paper’s perspective: you’re arguing with your best friend about the amount of tasks you’ve been given for so little credit, and you finally admit everything that’s been bothering you. instead of the reassurance you usually receive, your friend stands there in shock before asking “do you hear that?” you hear nothing. the fear on his face grows and he backs against the door, crying for something you can’t see to ‘stop’. you’re confused, but before you can question it, he’s dead, spilled. any semblance of life in him as disappeared, and everyone is terrified.

this was so masterfully executed all the times it happened; taco’s incoherency when she was found with pickle, the hotel’s reaction when oj spills, and baseball’s silence and shock as he re-enters after nickel’s death. it sets up a tone of horror, and shows just how unaware everyone truly is. soooooo very cool.

it was so cool seeing the purgatory crew again because i really missed these goofy guys. but it really gets you thinking about what role they’re going to play.

unlike bow, all of the “deleted” contestants have had their melife icons completely removed, so that begs the question; will they be turned into ghosts at purgatory mansion? bow states in the episode that it took her a while to appear in the mansion, so it gets you thinking if deletion counts as a perma-death, and those killed will be turned to ghosts.

knife’s very impersonal handling of this situation versus suitcase’s gentle assurance and questioning really brings out the difference between these two.

this scene is meant to make knife seem foolish for wanting to rush by all this, but that’s not what knife intends to look like, again bringing back this idea of misunderstanding his actions. knife doesn’t like focusing on what’s around him when he’s been given a clear objective, getting information to find cobs in this case. alongside this, he doesn’t have the same understanding of what 3gs has been through as suitcase, yet he tries, to a degree, to understand this individual. when knife isn’t given the information he needs, he looks for his own means of finding it, and moves ahead.

suitcase on the other hand is shown to want to take it slower. unlike knife, she’s more invested in the story than the lesson or outcome. this is something normally detrimental to someone in a finale, but due to their working together, knife doesn’t really get too far ahead of her. she wants to understand motivations for actions so that she can figure out how to respond, whereas knife just wants to, for lack of a better phrase, cut to the the chase. very interesting.

now, the titular reveal of the episode, “the reality of the situation”, if you will.

despite how of guard i was caught, this makes perfect sense.

though i don’t really like season three, cabby has a scene where she freaks out when questioned about her parents. i initially thought this had something to do with her memory issues, but this explanation makes much more sense. bot knew about theur parents because their parents actually exist, cabby’s did not.

no character ever talks about their past, nor their parents, nor their motivation to join the show. it all quite literally starts from the first episode, and picks up from there. that is why mephone can regenerate them. that is why when mephone dies they can’t be regenerated, because as their creator, he was the only one capable of REcreating them. its an incredible reveal, and a very well working one.

all in all, this episode was phenomenal. the chracter work and development and storyline were all so well done and i totally adore it. episode 15 was very character focused and took a step away from the plot. this episode on the other hand took the plot and bolted with it, scattering all slrts of bombshells on the way.

i love this episode because it shows unity and disharmony and everything really feels like its coming together and i’m so excited for the next episode.

till next time lovelies!!!

[copperbadge]

Having ADHD and Being A Little Punk Rock

So....a huge amount of the discourse on Tumblr around neurodiversity generally is just venting. Which is good, it’s good to vent and Tumblr is a good place for it. And I know that often, when venting, the LAST thing you want to hear is someone trying to offer help or solutions. So generally I keep my mouth shut unless someone is speaking to me specifically. 

But a while back I saw someone asking (rhetorically) about what people with ADHD wish their parents had known, and I had a lot of thoughts about that which I started jotting down. Reading the various ADHD tags, I also see a lot of teens and twentysomethings with ADHD who visibly have no coping mechanisms and no way of creating them. I don’t blame the kids, and it’s not some kind of personal failing on their part; they’re young, and nobody has taught them. But I look at them and I think, A little sideways thinking would help you out so much. Then, recently, I got an ask (thank you for the permission not to respond directly) that was full of feelings about not being able to process or communicate well, and feeling a lot of negative emotions because of it. 

So, maybe it’s time to just throw this out there. I want to offer some advice as Fandom Dad with forty-three years of being neurodiverse and exactly seven months of actually being aware I was neurodiverse. Which for once is actually going to be pretty helpful! Because I looked at the world and I assumed my own neurotypicality and I thought, well, okay, but fuck all that.

Allow me to explain.  

I think this can apply to a number of ways in which people are neurodiverse, but I have ADHD so that’s what I’m really speaking to here. With ADHD, there’s medication, and I strongly urge people to explore that option because medication is awesome when it works. But there’s also a lot out there about how to try harder, or trick yourself into doing something in a very neurotypical way, or use systems that may not work for you. I know; I tried some too, and the sense of failure, the sense of being an ongoing failure, is terrible. So I want to offer an alternative which has helped me a great deal, and may help other people with ADHD, particularly younger people. 

People of any age, but especially young people who have ADHD, should be made aware that it’s okay to suck at things, to struggle, and to fail. Even if you think you should be good at something, even if everyone around you thinks so too, it’s okay to just be garbage at it and to acknowledge that fact. But just saying “well I’m dumb and can’t do this” of course isn’t actually helpful, and harms you a great deal, because you are a living person with feelings and if you’re self-aware enough to notice, you’re also too smart to be calling yourself dumb. Acknowledging that you’re bad at something, and even acknowledging that you’d like to succeed at it, is only part one of figuring life out.

Part two is deciding what to do about it, and more importantly, how. 

I was always told I was smart, but I was told “You’re smart so you should be able to do this”, not “You’re smart, so let’s come up with a way around this.” I don’t think many people are encouraged to explore why they are bad at something, to understand their own brains and thought processes which cause them to struggle.

Decades before I knew I had ADHD, I had to figure out that one of life’s most important skills is not being able to creatively solve problems but to recognize when you have to. Anyone can sit around and come up with three or four ways to solve a problem, but it’s not actually often taught that you should also be aware of when this is needed. Often, when faced with a problem that is difficult to solve, we’re taught that our reaction should be the socially approved “I just need to try harder”. Sometimes that’s true, but usually it’s not.  

More often, when we feel that instinct, especially as people with ADHD, we should say instead, “I’m not going to try harder, that’s bullshit. I’m trying already. I’m going to find another way to solve this problem.” Trying harder doesn’t work, after all, when your own brain is fighting you.

So you stop and think, if there were no rules to the world, how could I do this? You don’t have to work smarter; a lot of my solutions could reasonably be described as “work dumber”. The point is to work differently in a way that helps you specifically. 

Stop trying to remember to take your keys when you leave the house and get a lanyard and hang them on the doorknob; if you lose them a lot, hang the lanyard around your neck when you leave the house. 

Stop pretending you’ll remember to scoop the litterbox every night and set an alarm that tells you to do it. Or don’t, that works for me but might not for you! Maybe you have to put the litterbox somewhere you’ll see it right before bed (I ALSO do this for the days I turn off the alarm and then promptly forget it happened). 

There are phone charging cords in every room of my home so that I never run down my phone battery, something that is mildly inconvenient to have happen but deeply anxiety-inducing to think about for me. And now I never worry.

The point is, don’t ask how you can do better at something, ask how you can make something easier for you.

Even rewiring your brain to ask the question is a learned skill, though. You have to consciously stop when you find something is fighting you and consciously think, how can this be easier for my specific brain? If we assume I am not stupid but am in fact fighting an invisible monster, how do I make the monster visible? 

Life became roughly 60% easier for me when I started thinking this way. Of all the tips for time management and list making and organizing and de-organizing you can try and implement, none of that is necessary if you know how to ask yourself, “How do I do this differently?” and come up with alternatives that suit your brain. 

Especially with neurodivergence, there’s no “one size fits all” when it comes to handling it, neurologically or emotionally. So I think that it’s important to be a little bit punk rock. Not necessarily in the way of defying authority but in the way of defying convention -- the ability to say “fuck you” to the Way Things Are Done and do one’s own thing is very liberating and healthy. You lose a lot of the benefits of creative problem solving if you’re also ashamed of the solutions. So I think the best trick I know of to succeed despite unmedicated ADHD is just to say “fuck you, there must be an easier way to do this.” 

I’m garbage at cleaning my home (I can say that because I’m not only calling myself garbage, I’m using “I’m bad at this” as a stepping stone to solving the problem, and then I no longer feel like garbage and can joke about it with a healthy ego). I vacuum regularly and do the dishes and such but like...I don’t scrub the floors or dust or wash out the bathtub. That’s part of why I do November Cleaning -- so that at least once a year those things, that I never want to do but always think I should do, get done, but only have to be done once and at a specific designated time. So now if the bathroom floor is a bit grimy in the corners I just think, “Ah -- that’s for November” and add it to my November Cleaning list. 

For my friend who struggles with communication, which is something I also used to really struggle with (and still do in some ways), one of my “make stuff easier” techniques for this was simply to...tell people.

“Hey, I tend to talk really fast when I get excited, so please tell me if I need to slow down.” 

“Sorry, I have some hearing issues, I may ask you to repeat something -- it’s fine just to do it slower, I don’t need louder.” 

“I’m upset and struggling, I need a minute.” (or even just “Hey where’s the bathroom?” so you can sit quietly for a moment and gather your thoughts. If you’re too upset to talk, it also helps to type them out, which I often do.) 

If someone tells me something I want to remember, I’ll get out my phone and say “Sorry, I’m still listening, but I want to write that down so I won’t forget it.” I do all my writing-things-down in Google Tasks, then once I’m somewhere quiet and private I review the notes and move stuff that isn’t actually “to do” to another list. Sometimes I’ll tell someone “I’m so sorry, you just said something and I totally missed it, but it’s important to me -- can you repeat it?” 

Most people find that kind of honesty, where you’re open about why you’re maybe talking at cross-purposes, really charming. It indicates that you think they are important, and you’re putting in effort to hear what they’re saying and respond to it thoughtfully.  

I hope this is helpful in finding ways around some basic problems, rather than through them -- that being able to stop and think “This could be easier -- how?” is something that people can internalize and make use of. Going around a mountain rather than through it might look like it’ll take more time and energy, but it beats trying to punch through granite the whole way there. 

[cursecuelebre]

Hellenic Witch tips

Hellenic witchcraft is very interesting in Ancient Greek and Roman history, divination wasn’t consider to be magic but a regular part of theurgy or communication with the gods. Magic was seen as taboo and certain time periods people were faced with persecution when they attempted to “curse” someone seeing it to be equal to murder. The Magical Greek papyri a collection of texts that were found on lead tablets of magical spells that were done in Ancient Greece one of the popular methods of magic in the Hellenic World was poppet magic, made from clay usually most recognize as today as “voodoo” dolls which is very misunderstood through mainstream media and two separate cultures and traditions. Here are some great Hellenic deities to work with in your magical journey!

- Hekate: one of the most common and well known deity to be associated with magic. Besides being associated with magic she was invoke during home protection. She is the personification of magic the good, the bad, and the ugly. Her triple form represents the crossroads and her sacred animals are Hounds and Snakes

- Hermes: Hermes is the messenger of the gods and mortals and gifted humans sacred arts and rituals. He is often been merge with Thoth and this aspect became well known associated with magicians and the occult. I recommend if you’re interested in ceremonial magick, but you can work with him no matter what

- Artemis: she is often associated with Hekate as another aspect of hers, especially in the context of nature and the moon. Artemis is associated as well with Diana the Roman goddess of the moon and hunt very similar but Diana is considered to be the queen of witches and fairies.

- Apollo: In modern day we probably see divination as part of witchcraft but anyone can ask a question and throw pair of lots or shuffle tarot cards. But it’s the act of putting energy into the things we seek can be magical. Through yes Apollo can be worked with when it comes to healing and fertility but he can be destructive and cursing of illness. But Apollo is one of the gods of purification and illuminating against darkness, and can be invoke against evil spirits and negative energies.

Dionysus: Dionysus is very unique in the sense yes he is the god of drunkeness and madness but not mad as in crazy but divine madness or ecstasy where someone physically and mentally feels and sees the perspective of the gods. Through the process of being reborn. Once Dionysus was mortal but when he was killed and born again by Zeus he became a divine immortal who represents nature and her cycles that transforms constantly. One can achieve through hard work and meditations discovering themselves and reflecting on the past.

Those deities are just examples but there are plenty of the Olympians and lesser gods and spirits to work with magical wise. Athena is the goddess of crafts, witchcraft can be that craft that you devout your work to or divination. From personal experience I have made War water with Ares and it worked fantastically. For Aphrodite can be love magic or self love spells or glamour magic. If you work with a deity closely you can associate with a lot of practices of magic with them. Have the spell be part as an offering to them and let them be part of it as you prepare for the spell.

[doumadono]

Hello. Your comforting stories have been incredibly helpful to me and they are so well-written. I'm wondering if it would be possible to request a piece (emergency request) that deals with anxiety and panic attacks. If this topic isn't suitable for you, please feel free to ignore this request. I'm looking for a scenario involving either Midoriya or Kirishima or Bakugou or Hawks providing support to their significant other during a panic attack caused by a triggering friend. Lately, there have been numerous triggers around me, especially from people I care about, which has led me to have anxious breakdowns. I'm really in need of some support. Could you write a piece that's heartwarmingly sweet and focuses on distracting the significant other from negative thoughts? Thank you in advance. You dedicate so much of your time to us readers, always displaying incredible kindness. I'd love to be your friend

A/N: I'm truly sorry to hear that you've been facing such challenging times lately. Dealing with triggers, especially from people you care about, can be incredibly tough and overwhelming. Remember that you're not alone in this. Be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time. You're resilient, and brighter days are ahead. Also, feel free to reach out to me - I'm so willing to make new friends!

MASTERLIST

Kirishima

You were having a panic attack triggered by an encounter with a friend who reminded you of a traumatic event. Amidst the turmoil of your panic attack, a strong yet gentle arm slipped around your shoulders. Kirishima's familiar presence was comforting, and his voice held a reassuring warmth. "Hey, you're not alone in this struggle. I've got your back, just like we've always had each other's. Don't pay too much attention to that encounter." His words carried a sense of camaraderie that only someone like Kirishima could provide.

"I-I can't do this, Eijiro…" You whispered, tears streaming down your cheeks.

As you clung to him, he squeezed your shoulder gently. "Remember that time we pushed through during training? We took on tough challenges, faced our fears, and came out even stronger. This is no different. We'll face it together." His eyes locked onto yours, a mixture of determination and empathy shining within them. "Instead of letting those negative thoughts control you, let's focus on something positive. How about we plan our next fun outing? Maybe ice cream and a movie marathon?"

His suggestion was genuine, and you couldn't help but smile through the residual unease. His unwavering support was a lifeline, grounding you in the midst of your turmoil. With Kirishima by your side, you felt stronger, just like when you faced challenges together as friends and partners.

Bakugo

You experienced a panic attack due to a triggering encounter with an old friend who was very unkind to you, saying a lot of wry words. In the midst of your anxious breakdown, a fiery presence seemed to engulf you. Bakugo, surprisingly, knelt down in front of you. His usually intense gaze softened, revealing a concern you hadn't expected.

"I-I can't breathe, Katsuki…" You whined, choking on your own tears.

"Tch, don't let that damn idiot mess with your head. You're stronger than that crap." His hand cupped your cheek, his touch both unexpected and oddly comforting. "Think of a time when you kicked ass. Remind yourself who you are — someone who won't back down."

His voice, though still intense, held an unexpected gentleness. "I've seen you push through tough situations. You're resilient as hell." He leaned in slightly, his brows furrowed. "Now, let's do something to distract your mind. How about watching some sweet, stupid videos online? You like them. They won't be as spectacular as my explosions, obviously, but they might help get your mind off those thoughts for a while, nerd. Oh, and say just a word and I'll fucking blow them up. Understood?"

It wasn't the comfort you were used to, but it was genuine and uniquely Bakugo. He might not show it like others, but he cared. And in his own way, he was trying to help you weather this storm of anxiety.

Hawks

You were in the middle of a panic attack triggered by an unsettling conversation with an old friend of yours. As your panic attack gripped you, a calming presence settled beside you. Hawks knelt down, his wings spreading slightly as if to shield you from the outside world. His eyes held an empathetic understanding, a silent assurance that he was here for you.

"I can't think straight, Hawks…" You admitted.

"You know, you've got wings too," he said suddenly, his fingers brushing your hair back gently. "Not the literal ones, but the strength to rise above this situation."

His soothing voice carried a sense of calm, and his touch was comforting in its gentleness. "Let's focus on something else. Imagine we're soaring above the clouds, leaving those negative thoughts far behind." Hawks' wings unfurled gently, their red feathers cascading like a protective cocoon. With a tender and understanding expression, he moved closer, his wings slowly enveloping you in their warmth. The soft rustling of feathers created a soothing rhythm, and the delicate touch of his feathers against your skin brought a sense of comfort.

Amidst the chaos, he offered a moment of serenity, reminding you that you were not alone in this battle.

Midoriya

You were caught in a panic attack after a distressing interaction with a triggering friend that hurt you previously. While you were enveloped by your anxious breakdown, a gentle smile greeted you as Midoriya sat down in front of you. His kind eyes held an understanding that only someone who had battled their inner demons could offer.

"I-I feel so useless, Izuku," you whispered.

"I know how it feels to battle your own mind and unpleasant situations," he said softly, his voice holding the same compassion he showed during his hero acts. "But remember, you're not alone."

His hand found yours, his touch warm and reassuring. "Instead of letting those negative thoughts consume you, let's reminisce about the times we've laughed till our sides hurt. Those are the moments worth fighting for, right?"

He wasn't just offering comfort; he was sharing a piece of his own resilience and reminding you that you possessed the strength to overcome these challenges.

[yocioon]

𝓑𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐍 ┊ yang jungwon x reader !

╰ cw : sfw. gn!reader. fluff. tooth rotting cuteness. slightly suggestive. mentions of body parts (not described).

⠀ᥫ✦.⠀⠀NOTE. first post (i hope). erm it took me a while to finally post smthn but here y’all go. hope u enjoy el em ef ay oh !

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀who’s been your sweetheart since the beginning of junior high. he was the first boy you talked to in your homeroom, let alone the only one you could tolerate out of all of them.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀all the way from back in secondary, up til now, he’d bring you your favorite snack. and, it wasn’t like you ever told him it was your favorite. he simply just could never take his eyes off you and always saw you eating the same three, so he made a mental note for it.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀that knew what he wanted and was dead set on getting it. from the moment he laid his eyes upon you, a heart-racing, stomach-curling sentiment settled within him. he knew absolutely nothing about you, yet could see a future with only you.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀with most guys, they make it their mission to go all out just to snag the girl of their dreams, and then once they finally have her they stop putting in much effort. sometimes none at all. however, jungwon on the other hand; once you officially agreed to be his he only got worse with his princess treatment.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀is like the ken to your barbie. he can sense when you’re feeling a negative emotion even if you’re not with each other (which is rare) and he will text you asking what’s wrong until he fixes the problem.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀sad? he’ll drop everything to rush to you and have a horror movie marathon. angry? he’ll help you express your anger and calmly dilute the situation at hand. hungry? he already bought the entire store to soothe your craving. nervous? he’ll hold your hand until it settles down.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀again, unlike other guys, jungwon is confident in your love for him so he doesn’t bat an eye when you say you’re going to hang out with your guy friends, or just friends in general. and you do likewise. even though he doesn’t have many girl friends, your relationship is beyond healthy for you to trust him.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀he’s the type to whisper “more please, baby” in a pouty tone when you break the kiss. it’s subtle. it’s sweet. it drives you absolutely mad. especially with those damn boba tea eyes he has. it make you just wanna shower him in kisses until the end of time.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀usually guys like to rest their hand on their girlfriends ass or waist whenever they’re out walking together, but jungwon has this thing where he likes curling his finger through the belt loop on your jeans with his arm wrapped around you lower back. it’s peculiar but you love it.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀loves going to sleep not only just cuddling, but having his face buried in your chest. he just likes being near you. but also loves hearing the sound of your heartbeat as it leads him into a peaceful sleep.

𐙚 ⠀ ˖⠀⠀ ۫ 𝓷𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 : hope you enjoyed lols. lmk if you want more or a different member 👐(jazz hands)

© 𝐘𝓞𝐂𝐈𝓞𝓞𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑⠀♱⠀mature discretion advised. all rights reserved. do not plagiarize or steal works.

[the-owl-tree]

genuine question bc I haven’t read the books since. Idk a long time, why do ppl hate nightcloud so much?? I have literally only ever heard of her as an afterthought. Like she’s the third choice for crow feather bc he needed to take a mate to not be seen suspicious and just picked her, there’s no love between them, and afaik he basically forced her to raise her son by herself, not counting the moments of attention he DID give which seemed to be overwhelmingly negative and even abusive. Isn’t she allowed to be bitter and that when he’s very clear abt his apathy and even resentment toward her and her son?? Or am I missing some context

People took Crowfeather passing the blame onto Nightcloud for Breezepelt's behavior at face value, despite two arcs worth of books proving that wasn't true at all. I'd argue the writing team ALSO believed this, as with how they characterized her in the subsequent Field Guides. Immediately, Nightcloud's past actions were re-contextualized to be negative, to further push this idea that she was this old coddling bitch mom who didn't let poor Crowfeather be involved with his son (look at the language of the field guides, they genuinely wrote "she should be glad to be alive").

Crowfeather was (and in some circles still is) a pretty popular character, and a lot of people were quick to latch onto the idea that he was blameless. I can't remember if CrowPool was or wasn't a popular ship, I lean towards yes, so take this line with the knowledge my memory is fuzzy, but I'd also argue that Nightcloud being the "replacement" mate was what made people even more hostile to her.

So, what is Nightcloud actually like? I'm only going to cover scenes where Nightcloud is either mentioned or actually appears, so no Outcast, click the first link for a better look at that. I'll only cover Po3 and OoTS for now.

Nightcloud's Appearances in the Power of Three

Our first meeting with her is in The Sight, where ThunderClan intervenes when they're being chased around by a dog. Her first piece of actual dialogue is her defending Breezepaw from Crowfeather, which is not coddling, especially when given the added context in Outcast that Crowfeather is verbally abusive towards his son. She also proceeds to lecture him about his manners towards a ThunderClan cat, so, she's not the one encouraging his rude streak.

She is then absent for most of the book until the end, when during one of the contests at the Daylight Gathering, Lionpaw and Breezepaw get hurt in a collapsed tunnel incident and she understandably is quite distressed. Then Leafpool drops the "i'd give every drop of my blood for you Crowfeather" line and Nightcloud just tries to divert attention from that, understandably uncomfortable with what's being said.

One of the scenes that's commonly used as "evidence" that Nightcloud stopped Crowfeather from bonding with Breezepelt is this one:

No hissing or swatting. She just doesn't let him help, and considering we now know Crowfeather has been absent from the beginning and isn't above hitting and screaming at his kid, I think it's understandable that she arguably isn't going to stop just so he can help. But that's my interpretation, I think this scene in itself proves nothing of the sort either way and people were reaching when trying to use it as evidence.

Nightcloud's remaining appearances in The Sight is her watching over Breezepaw and Lionpaw as they recover:

That is the entirety of her appearance in The Sight. Onto Dark River! Where her first mention is Leafpool identifying her and Jaypaw sensing some jealousy from Leafpool, as the patrol is going to check in on WindClan and get information because of uh scents. you know usual warriors border bullshit. We then get Jaypaw noticing her breath, and finally him sensing jealousy from Nightcloud (that she does not act on). This is the entirety of her appearance in Dark River:

Cue Leafpool being polite to Crowfeather, and Crowfeather waving as many red flags as he possible can.

And onto the infamous Outcast! Where Nightcloud has *drumroll* one fucking appearance.

She also has one appearance in Eclipse where she's part of the patrol that attacks Lionpaw, but I'm not even going to mention it it's quite literally just him going "Nightcloud!" before the scene shifts to his and Heatherpaw's conflict. She is entirely absent in Long Shadows, there is no appearance of her beyond allegiances.

And finally in Sunrise, she is entirely absent until near the ending. She's first mentioned by Crowfeather when Jayfeather asks him if he knew the truth, then noticed at a gathering by Hollyleaf:

When the secret is revealed, Nightcloud stands with Crowfeather. No hissing or hitting or turning on him, here is the entirery of her appearance when Hollyleaf reveals everything:

This is it. This is the entirety of Nightcloud involvement in the story, she is barely mentioned and she is barely a character. Her appearances are dwarfed by Crowfeather and Breezepelt, and she is literally just a normal mom character throughout.

Nightcloud's Appearances in Omen of the Stars

Nightcloud is absent throughout the entirety of the Fourth Apprentice. She is only mentioned in the allegiances. She has one appearance in Fading Echoes:

Then there's Night Whispers, where her first appearance is her arguing with Crowfeather while Flametail goes "yikes!":

Her other appearance is the infamous grabbing scene that people latched onto as proof that Nightcloud was an abusive monster who was hurting poor Crowfeather and was forcing him to not bond with his son. Breezepelt and Lionblaze get into a border dispute and it escalates into a fight:

Leafpool intervenes and asks Crowfeather why he's not doing shit, he then proceeds to throw up multiple red flags in front of her and does the red flag dance:

We finally get Nightcloud where she comes in and pulls Crowfeather away from Leafpool. Despite using her claws, presumably because she does not have fucking THUMBS to grab onto him, no blood is drawn. She just pulls him away in an already emotionally charged and over dramatic situation. This is not comparable to Crowfeather's abuse of his son and with everything else I've presented, her grabbing him is not indicative of their relationship, ESPECIALLY given the circumstances of the action:

Her last appearance is her talking about shredding RC cats, it's not relevant but uh it's there. That the entirety of her appearances within the book.

She has no appearances in Sign of the Moon. She then has a two appearances in The Forgotten Warrior where she is hostile to Hollyleaf (which feels understandable to me considering what Hollyleaf did):

She has one onscreen appearance in The Last Hope where she defends Jayfeather from the Dark Forest attack with some other WindClan cats:

Her only other mention is Crowfeather blaming her for Breezepelt's behavior:

In canon, this never happens. We never see Nightcloud encourage Breezepelt to hate Crowfeather, but we instead see Crowfeather spending an entire book abusing Breezepaw when Nightcloud is away. This is bullshit, but the fandom took this as truth and immediately turned on Nightcloud despite no actual evidence.

There are three takeaways from this:

Crowfeather blaming Nightcloud is....false. It's false. We see no canon evidence of this, and in fact the books tell us another narrative.

Nightcloud is barely a character. She has so few actual appearances that calling her "complex" is a lie, she is a narrative tool that moreso supports Crowfeather and Breezepelt's conflict than any story of her own.

Even if Nightcloud did do all that offscreen, Crowfeather STILL abused his child and that is directly tied to Breezepelt's motivations within Omen of the Stars. Nightcloud's behavior does NOT negate the harm that Crowfeather did to his own son.

[hurtspideyparker]

What do you think about Marvel's move bringing back RDJ but now as Dr. Doom. I just wondered how this would affect Peter...

At first I was like OH MY GOD ROBERT DOWNEY JR. because I just adore! him! And of course I would love him back in Marvel, cuz I'm a sap and RDJ as Tony Stark revolutionized superhero cinema. Also "new mask same task" and striking the Tony Stark T pose? Legendary stuff.

Then I actually thought about the implications and the character, and I'm just not a fan. Bringing Downey back as anyone but Tony Stark is really weird, and doesn't make sense. Feels like an insane Tony Stark+Dr. Doom plot, which they made up just to get RDJ back cuz he's the money maker. Plus Dr. Doom deserves a new unique actor, especially a Romani one. I do love Dr. Doom as an MCU villain though, if he is cast properly. If they were gonna bring a Tony variant into the MCU make him a TONY variant, using Dr. Doom isn't it. Although under different circumstances I'd love to see more of RDJ as an antagonist, he's an incredible actor (his 1998 film US Marshalls started a fire in me for him to play more villains).

ANYWAYS - ignoring all the negative stuff, let's talk about Peter Parker!

I'd like to imagine a scene where Peter is fighting Doom - he's using his usual quips, being silly. He thinks it's just another day, another villain. Doom is incredibly strong and it's a tough fight, but Peter just manages the perfect hit to tear Doom's mask off.

Then he hesitates.

While scarred and cruel, the sight is still unmistakably familiar.

"Tony?"

Doom doesn't waver, he strikes Peter with deadly and immediate force in his moment of weakness.

Peter goes flying backwards, smashing through glass and brick.

He's hurt, badly, lying still on the floor beneath Doom. Bloody and torn Doom leaves him there, a pitiful and easily distracted kid. He doesn't know what he said, nor does he care. Von Doom just squashed a bug.

Left alone, Peter suffers from the ache in his body, the hit to his ego, and the biggest question - what did he see?

He questions whether he was drugged, or having a stress-induced hallucination. It doesn't make any sense for this to catch up to him in the middle of a battle. That's usually when he's most focused and level headed.

Sure, he used to see Mr. Stark. In billboard models with goatees, in the kind smile of a professor, in the corner of his eye when walking down the street. He never thought it was really him though, and it's been years since he's been struck so painfully with memories of his old mentor.

This, this is completely different. He stared right at Tony's face as clear as day.

Maybe Peter drags himself to the nearest hero. Still bloody and bruised, but he has to tell someone what he saw. Who is there? Who can he call? Hawkeye? Bruce Banner? Daredevil? They may not know Peter Parker, but he's still Spider-Man. He has a big name, and I'm curious who's taken notice.

Personally, I'd kill to finally get a Spider-Man and Fantastic Four team up in theatres. With the FF movie coming out and Doom being a big nemesis to the team I'm really hoping we get some Fantastic Four and Avengers interactions.

Anyways. Peter warns them, or does research on his own. He obsesses over this Doctor Doom.

Fast forward, maybe Doom and Peter work together against another evil, or Doom's own invention. Or maybe they're just near each other enough to get to know one another.

Doom and Stark do have some things in common, and I think that would strike a chord in Peter. Doom is an intellectual, a scientist, he's a self-absorbed perfectionist.

Doom commends Peter on his genius, his capabilities. Offers him a deal to join him and put his brain to good use. It would hit too close to home for Peter. A kid who wanted nothing more than to be like Tony Stark, to be strong and intelligent. To have his old mentor look at him and acknowledge his effort.

It messes with Peter's head and brings up his unresolved issues with Tony. It makes him sick.

Peter Parker got erased, and now it's like he's reliving his youth and trauma in some twisted and dark remake.

Maybe there's something bigger at play here. Maybe someone is haunting him, torturing him.

Laughing at him.

[starsurface]

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Regressor Reiko w/ CG Rain (Fic)

Rain was very glad that Mileena had given him a second chance. Even after his . . . accident with Havik, she had granted him mercy. Something he desperately tried to show her was a good idea. Put on close watch sure, but granted his spot back as their high sorcerer.

Reiko . . . was not too keen on the whole second chance thing.

It was weakness, granting mercy for an enemy. Letting an enemy that hates them and wished them dead in their own home? It made no sense! Shao, if he were here, would never allow this. Then again, Kitana was the General now. And Reiko was now her Lieutenant. A second in command who refused to listen . . . Unless her plan was . . decent enough. Which, unfortunately, was surprisingly more often than not.

"I can't believe they gave us a second chance!" Reiko complained as he burst into Rain's room, causing the guards at Rain's door to roll their eyes as he passed by. "It is humiliating, Rain!"

"Hello to you too, Reiko," Rain greeted, pausing his reading. "And for your information, I am quite glad they gave us a second chance."

"It is humiliating, Rain!" Reiko whined, stomping his foot. "How can you be okay with this?"

"You're stomping your foot again," Rain pointed out, returning to his book. "Are you feeling small, Reiko?"

Reiko whined again, stomping his foot. He hated being easy to read, especially from Rain. The supposed half-god and he were good friends, childhood friends at that. Both were taken in by the royal house at a young age.

"No," Reiko grumbled, walking over to Rain's bed, where the demi god was laying at. "Just thought you could use company instead of your stupid reading . . . What are you reading anyhow?"

"Book of Magic," Rain explained, showing Reiko the book. He could tell that Reiko wasn't fully regressed. He most likely began to feel small and rushed to Rain, as he usually did.

"Lots of words," Reiko grumbled, snatching the book from him. "Looks boring."

"Hey!" Rain said, going to snatch the book. Reiko giggled and stretched his hand out further. "Give that back Reiko! You're going to destroy it!"

"Will not!" Reiko complained as Rain snatched the book from him. "Hey!"

"Will too! Plus, Tanya got it for me," Rain said, getting off his bed and heading towards his bookshelf, putting his book back in it. Reiko began to get off the bed too- "Don't try it, it took forever to reorganize the last time you tried looking for a . . . picture book."

"Or Warrior Cats?" Reiko asked

"No, haven't gotten that either," Rain rolled his eyes. "I can't believe the first time you've ever been interested in my library, you wish for a children's series. I guess it makes sense, with your current headspace-"

"Raiden recommended it!" Reiko tried to defend himself. "And I not small."

"Oh so now we're taking book recommendations from the people who kicked your a- I mean, your bum," Rain teased him, receiving a glare from Reiko.

"I could take him again!" Reiko cheered, grabbing Rain's pillow and punching it. "And dis time I'd win!"

"Don't punch my pillows!" Rain complained, walking over and snatching it. Reiko huffed, rolling over and onto the floor. "Really Reiko?"

"There's nuffing to do!" Reiko complained, hiding his face in his hands. "Nuffing fun at all!"

Rain didn't like play fighting or telling outlandish stories, things Reiko liked while small. When Rain was small, he liked to be read to or go outside and make Tanya catch frogs for him. Reiko didn't complain while watching him . . . Okay, sometimes he did. But he always meant well!

Reiko had obviously come to him while small and wanting attention. Feeling more playful than usual. Rain still remembers when Reiko only came to him when he negatively regressed. Where Reiko would cuddle up to him and Rain would read Nursery Rhymes while the boy tried not to sob into his arms.

"Oh, come here," Rain sat on the edge of his bed. Reiko looked at him confused before sitting beside him. "What kind of shape do you want?"

Reiko looked confused until Rain raised his hands, forming water that flowed around them. Reiko loved this game! Rain hated using his powers for 'silly reasons', but sometimes he'd make fun shapes or let water run on Reiko's skin.

"Sphere!" Reiko decided, patting his lap excitedly.

"Alright," Rain smiled, forming the flow of water into a sphere, holding it for Reiko to see.

"Pretty!" Reiko gasped, putting his hand into the sphere, giggling as his hand got wet. He immediately tried to touch Rain's face, which Rain gently pushed his hand away. Much to the boy's dismay. He would have complained, but he'd have to splash Rain's face with water later. "Do a star!"

"Can I hear a please?" Rain smirked.

". . . Now," Reiko grumbled, crossing his arms.

"That's not even close," Rain said, but formed the sphere of water into multiple tiny stars.

Reiko gasped and tried to grab one. Whining and pouting to Rain when his hand went through it. Rain rolled his eyes and formed some of the starts into a fish.

It swam towards Reiko, kissing his nose and splashing water onto Reiko's face as the shape disappeared. Reiko laughed and clapped his hands.

"Again Rain!" Reiko demanded, tugging on Rain's shirt.

Rain eyed him.

". . . Please?" Reiko quietly added.

"Why of course," Rain agreed. "What nice manner you have, Reiko."

"Shush it!" Reiko pouted.

He went to lightly hit Rain, even though he knew it was naughty of him.

Although his anger quickly disappeared as another fish reappeared. Rain smiled at Reiko's easily distracted attention. It was easy to watch him . . . Fun even. He would have to schedule more little times with him again. . . Maybe they could even invite Havik. . Maybe.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I wrote this before I knew Rain was just a sorcerer in MK1, that's why it mentions to him being half god!

[tavyliasin]

Fandom Essay - Body Positivity and Validation

Good timezone darlings~ Lia is back at it again with some examination of BG3 Fandom and some more of the wonderful things we can find within it. This time we are talking about representation of different physical features. If you feel this might be a little much for you, either in regards to your relationship to your body or any potential dysphoria, please feel free to skip it. Second disclaimer that I will be mentioning trans and nonbinary people here from the perspective of a Cis person - this is absolutely not my right to speak for or over anyone so I thoroughly welcome the voices of those with lived experiences to join in the comments with their input, but I also did not want to leave the topic out of the discussion and you may just see why as we get into it~ So on with today's long title:

How FanWorks Can Be Important To Self Acceptance And Body Positivity - The Next "Callout Essay" from TavyliaSin (Who is calling herself out with these too) ((there are reasons it feels targeted I know where to aim)) (((but honestly it's fine it's all positive I promise)))

Today we will be discussing: body types, disability representation (only a little though, this one may need a full post of its own), body size, gender (and gender euphoria), scars and "imperfections", visible ageing. This will be through the lens of both the canon inclusion and everything we see in mods, edits, and fan creations of all kinds. As usual I will use sub headers and encourage anyone to skip what makes them uncomfortable, as well as to join the discussion~ so let's begin, shall we?

------- -------

What Does Body Positivity Mean?

Let's start off with the simple one. Body positivity doesn't mean promoting any one body type as the ideal or as better than any others, it is about being positive about the mortal flesh vessels we inhabit and all of their features. A lot of people can find this difficult, to love oneself or even just accept oneself, especially in a highly critical society. But that is where representation and even fan creations can step in - by being vocal and loud about appreciating features that people may feel negative about in themselves, we can help build up confidence and self worth, as well as reminding all of us that we do not have to look a certain way to be desirable and desired~

How Does This Relate To Baldur's Gate 3?

On the surface, we do have a lot of characters with more conventionally accepted body types in the main cast and romance characters, though it is worth noting that the base models were updated to be less "Hollywood muscles" on a couple of characters, which made more sense to the character stats and backstories (unless Gale was working out every day in his tower, he's not that much like a bodybuilder physique).

But aside from this, when you look closer, there's also an awful lot to appreciate in the standard character designs. A lot of these are things which fans pick up on and adore, despite how they may be features that people are actively bullied for or that are seen as undesirable by beauty standards. Those "beauty standards" can get in the trash too, but I'll use it here to point out the things we are shining a positive light on in the face of those societal values~ Karlach - Our tall queen, strong and muscular and not particularly feminine with her tattoos, piercings, and hairstyle. But she is adored for all of those things, even her broken horn is an important feature, alongside the glowing heart and fire that have some in the game view her as monstrous until they look closer and know her. Astarion - His laugh lines. Gods don't we love those? The wrinkles in his face are experience, and of course he has those signs of exhaustion in his eyes that make him so much more relatable to many of us. Lae'zel - This might feel like cheating as she's not human, and is less human-like than most of the other characters, but in a way that is also an important one. She's still desirable and treated as such in the romances, as well as very much adored by the fans. Gale - The little signs of ageing and stress mark Gale's face, and even the hints of greying in his hair are picked up on and chewed on by those who love him most. Wyll - More on him later but honestly is he not the poster boy for physical acceptance? Not only do we have his initial appearance with the stone eye but with one choice his entire body is completely changed and part of his story is arguably learning to live with this and how his new look is likely going to be seen as everything he ever feared. Halsin - Are we cheating with BIG TALL MUSCLE MOUNTAIN because many people find this attractive to start with? Maybe, but again he has clear signs of ageing, as well as very obvious facial scarring. His look might easily be described as fearsome, and yet his personality couldn't be further from it. Raphael - Hello there lovers of older men, who look at each one of those wrinkles and his brow lines and start sweating a bit more. I'm with you, he's gorgeous because of those signs of aging, not despite them. Abdirak - Our real poster boy for scars and visible wounds. Features which have long been given only to villainous characters in fiction (particularly that aimed at younger audiences) and yes he is one of the most violent characters, but he is also immediately deeply sympathetic to the player. So we are no longer equating scars/visual difference with pure evil. In general we have a lot of features that are not overly smoothed out or homogenised to fit certain standards. We have different nose shapes, visible pores, scars, acne marks, wrinkles, greying hair, moles, freckles, body hair, and a lot of variety across face shapes and features. It makes the characters feel more real, more relatable, and seeing features closer to our own can be comforting and validating in a lot of ways. Of course there are more examples, and far more we could say about each one of these and all the things that make them unique that we love about them, but we would be here all day and there are other topics to cover!

What About The Player Characters?

So we do have a range of fantasy races, many of which arguably don't represent real humans at all, and we do also lack variation in body types in the standard game. But we also have player characters with shorter statures with the dwarves, halflings and gnomes. Beyond just being part of the lore and story, there is some representation here for similar body types in real life. I can't say a lot on this as I neither have personal experience nor do I personally know anyone who could speak on how they feel about these races in comparison to lived experiences, but it would be equally unfair to leave the point out of the conversation - please do add something in the comments if you have the knowledge and emotional bandwidth to spare, I would love to hear about your experiences and opinions! Aside from this we have a wide range of skin tones (though my own is too close to plain paper to be able to tell you if this is anywhere near adequate so please feel free to weigh in with lived experience here) as well as scars and other features in the character creation. There's also vitiligo pigmentation, which is not only representing the condition but also normalising it to those who aren't familiar and making some rather beautiful options for our characters in my opinion. Even in the hair styles there are a couple of options featuring thinner hair or baldness patterns. There are less options for textured hairstyles and the facial features are equally limited, but there are some truly gorgeous mods out there which I'll mention later.

Player Characters And Gender

Another caveat to please weigh in with your lived experiences, but this one is one that I've seen friends enjoy and it was really wonderful to see that delight. Being able to select pronouns, genitals, body type, and voice all independently of each other is something which is so vastly meaningful to a lot of players. To some it might just be "oh cool I get to choose what my character looks like naked", but to a nonbinary friend of mine... Well, they were sending me happy, joyful, and what can only be described as "delightfully shouty" messages when they were in character creation. To paraphrase, and to tone it down just a little, it went something like this:

"Wait you mean I can have a character look and exist the way I want to be? I can actually have myself represented on screen, and nobody will misgender me, and nobody will decline a romance based on any of this?!"

Maybe it seems silly but I got tearful to see them just absolutely losing it over having these options. They've been stuck with binary options in most fantasy RPGs for so long... Of course there's still things that could be improved, there always will be, but that joy? Priceless. It meant something in that moment and I hope it will continue to mean something to a lot more people in many moments to come. Of course there are still flaws - the faces and bodies are still gender matched, and it isn't possible for people to refine the size and shape of player character chests. In some ways really what we have is the bare minimum, a start that needs to go further, but seeing as there have been precious few games in the genre to even reach this low bar it is good to recognise it, to say "this brought people joy and is worth the effort to make it happen", and to say "please go further because there is genuine interest."

What About Mods?

This is where we can see a lot more of that positivity flourishing. There are countless options, from having more hairstyles and hair types, to face shapes and features, all the way to body types and adding in top surgery scars. Giving the game the ability to be modded, and potentially even encouraging and supporting it, means we can see so much more of that body positivity and representation. Having a hero who shares your features, seeing romances play out where the characters are valued in every way just as they are. Being able to mod softer and wider body types to the Origin characters too, taking the form away from the bodybuilder/model physique and far closer to more average - and undeniably still devastatingly attractive - body types. Seeing the trans-Origin character headcanons portrayed too, that's just so utterly divine~ (There is a lot to be said about parallels to LGBTQIA+ experiences in the Origin storylines, too, so feel free to comment on those at the end if you would like to) To all of you out there making mods, and sharing the characters you've created using other peoples' mods - thank you! I adore seeing all of these, as well as people's happiness in sharing and using them too~

I don't even use mods, honestly darlings I'm not the best with tech at times and as I'm spending vastly more hours writing than playing it's likely not as worth it for me - especially when people share the modded content for us all to enjoy in videos and screenshots. But I love how many there are, that they exist, and all the ways they give people joy and euphoria to see their own body types and/or body types they find to be desirable~

But Wasn't This Post About Fandom and Fan Creations?

It was - and is! Because after all of the content you can get in the base game and in the modded version, what comes after is where the fans go with it from there.

That's truly where we get the most body positivity and joy. Headcanons leave the head and pour onto the page. We see characters reimagined a hundred times, each with their own twist, their own enthusiasm both from the creator and from fans just eating up every piece that comes out. There's so much variety there seems to be almost anything you could wish for with almost any character, and I can guarantee you that if there's something you'd like to see and aren't seeing out there, there will be an artist willing to work on the idea (most likely on commission basis, we do prefer to ensure our artists can eat after all, but there may be some willing to just adopt ideas to draw as their own too). This even extends to cosplay, with gender-swapped characters, as well as the one thing I will always be vocal about in cosplay - everyone should be allowed to wear the character costumes they love regardless of body types or how well their body/face matches the original character. Though this does come with the caveat that skin should never be darkened to match a character's look (if that character has a natural type skin tone, obviously green etc is not an issue) - just be your own version of the character if you adore them enough to put the costume together.

And your work?...

Thank you for asking Lia, let me answer that one for you. Of course, take it away, Lia! Ahem silliness aside, there is something you might or might not have noticed in my writing. I don't do a lot of body-type description. You can imagine whatever you like as you read - Gale with a soft tummy to snuggle? Yes please! Or you can imagine him with sculped abs, or a more slender frame - whatever brings you the most joy to read. This is especially true for anything I do with gender neutral character fics (usually "character x Reader"/2nd person pieces) - I try to stay away from any specific gendered features and focus on actions and sensations which can be common to any body.

How Does This All Add Up To Body Positivity?

Simple, love - by sharing and making all of these works we are saying "these features are beautiful, we love them, we want to see more of them as we fall head over heels time and time again". It might not seem like a lot, but the mind is both powerful and very easily open to suggestion. If a person keeps seeing negative things about a feature they have (eg, as a mild example body hair on women/feminine people) they will internalise that and wish to change themselves (eg, waxing/shaving/etc). In the case of a bit of body hair that might not seem drastic, but it still changes how someone feels about themselves. At the end of the day, the more we love ourselves the easier it is to look after ourselves and be happy in the mortal flesh vessels we pilot around this terribly strange universe~ For my part, I have seen my body shape which I had struggled with shown time and time again as "wow look at this character who looks this way, they are amazing! I love this feature, and that feature, and the way the artist made sure to include this particular thing-" Every time I see that, every time I see parts of myself I struggle with being applauded and appreciated, I feel a little brighter. A little more comfortable. A little more like I am allowed to dress it up nicely and spend time and care to feel good about it. I also feel less shame for old scars, for every part of myself that has made me look at the mirror with unkind eyes. Confidence is not a single brick, it's many that need to be built carefully with the right cement. If it is chipped away at too many times, even by little self-deprecating "jokes", it will erode. It will crack. It will wear away piece by piece instead of building up. And before anyone decides to try equating weight and health, darling this is not the place. If you truly care about someone's wellbeing, leave their health to the private discussions they have with their doctors, and remember that looking after oneself is far easier from a place of loving oneself. If you care about a thing, you want to look after it. If you see a thing as already broken, you're less likely to be cautious in how you handle it.

Where does this essay end?

Well, I believe that would be here. With the endless gratitude for every creator out there bringing us mods, images, fiction, art, cosplay, content of all of these wonderful characters in every incredible variation that we can think of. I encourage those of you who are feeling lower in confidence about yourselves to really look at the fan responses to these creations - the excitement and desire for every body type, every feature, everything that we might see of ourselves and dislike there are so many people out there seeing those exact same features we have and feeling nothing but attraction, desire, love, adoration, and praise~ We are often our own worst critics, but not one of those characters would ever reject us, neither are we rejecting any of our favourites when we see them on the screen. I certainly hope to see more games bringing us this variety, and going further too. There is power in fiction and fan-works, and it is helpful to recognise it too.

Apologies if this one felt too long, rambling, or like I lost my point - it was done over 3 days and I'm rather tired~ I have other essays coming in the next few weeks too, and I really would love to hear your opinions on any of them~

As a final note - please do add your own views and experiences on the topic! I can only offer my own as a disabled white cisgender asexual/bisexual/panromantic woman with too much time on her hands~ I neither wish to ignore experiences outside of my own nor speak over them. All I can offer is what I see, what I hear, and of course my endless love to all of you~ That, my very dear darlings, is never in doubt. I love you just the way you are, because of who you are, and will see the beauty in everything that makes up the sum of your wonderful selves~

[ventingfanfics]

With Jamie Harrison

She caught my eye from the moment I saw her. And it turned out, she was the only one in the group home who warmed up to me, though there were initial attempts to resist me. 

“Why do you care? Hm?” Jamie demanded one night as I drove her home. I remained calm, understanding that Jamie wasn’t used to someone looking out for her, which was sad. 

“I care because I hate to see people waste their life away,” I said. “Especially young people.” I spared her a glance, meeting her heated gaze. “And you, Jamie, have miles of potential.  And I know you know it, as well.” I offered her a soft smile.

She muttered something, shaking her head before staring out the passenger’s window the rest of the drive home. I thought about asking her to sing for me, to lighten the mood. But the silence was enough. Hopefully, she would let my words stay with her, that she was capable of being successful in life.

“Thank you,” she said before getting out the car. I checked to make sure she got inside the house safely and pulled off. 

~~~

Jamie had a reason to live now. She never thanked me, but her changing ways was the reward. She was making better choices. Making music was her passion, and so she poured into it. Her consistency had propelled her to be in the running for a scholarship in the arts. 

However, she would be tested, and not academically.

I felt nauseous as I pulled up the group home, finding Jamie and Leanne sitting on the porch, laughing. It may have looked normal and innocent to anyone else, but it was usually a bad thing for these two be together. Not to say Jamie isn’t responsible for any of her wrongdoing, but Leanne is definitely a negative influence. 

A guilty expression crosses Jamie’s face when she sees me. Leanne, as usual, glares daggers at me. Nonetheless, I greeted them with a hello.

“Jamie, can I see you?” I asked, focusing on her.

“Fuck off,” Leanne replied. 

Unsurprised, I focused on Jamie, who had bowed her head, sighing a little.

“I said fuck off! Can’t you see Jamie don’t want you around neither? My God, where is the common sense?” Leanne ranted, turning red and rising to her feet.

“Leanne, chill, chill,” Jamie said, standing now as well and pulling her friend back down.

“No, she needs to leave us the hell alone!” Leanne fumed.

“Just give us a minute,” Jamie told her. “A minute and I’ll be right back.”

Leanne now glared at Jamie before sitting down slowly in defeat. Jamie flashed her a smile before meeting my eyes. Her smile faded and she nodded at me. “What’s up?” 

We started walking to my car and I leaned against it as Jamie stood before me. I couldn’t help but blush as her eyes pierced mine. She was striking yet gentle at once. I took in her beauty. She was beginning to put more effort into her appearance, though she’d always been attractive. 

Arching a brow, she called my name. I blushed as if she knew my thoughts.

“Just checking to see if you’re coming to practice today,” I said.

She laughed. 

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“You came all the way here just for that?” 

“Well, it’s a good thing I did, seeing as…your friend is back.”

Jamie looked nervous for a moment before regaining her confidence. “Yeah, but that doesn’t change anything.” 

I smiled at her growth. “Okay.” I was reluctant to leave her here with Leanne. 

“Okay….” She repeated and laughed a bit, shifting from side to side. “Is that all?” 

“You’re just in a rush to get rid of me, huh?” I joked.

She looked me up and down and smirked. “I’m seeing you in a few hours, don’t be greedy.”

I let out a full laugh and Jamie gave me her beautiful smile and turned back towards the devil—I mean, Leanne.

“Weirdo bitch,” I heard her loudly say. I felt Jamie look at me then but I didn’t make eye contact. I concentrated on getting in my car and leaving.

~~

I bid a farewell to the choir director and my other church mates. Jamie was behind me as I left and proceeded to my car. 

“Hello?” She called, catching up to me.

I glanced at her. “Hi.” I didn’t let up on my stroll.

“What’s up your ass?” She asked.

I rolled my eyes. “Such lovely language.”

“No, for real, what’s up? Did I do something? Is it because I was with Leanne earlier?” Her voice was thick with paranoia. She sounded on edge even, which soothed me in this moment. We reached my car, in which Jamie muttered, “finally.” 

I folded my arms, leaning against the passenger door as I aimed a sarcastic smile at Jamie. It wasn’t just that she’d spent time with Leanne. It was that she had a hickey. It shouldn’t have consumed me, yet it did. I felt like I was boiling. Boiling in church.

“What did you and Leanne get into today?” I asked. 

She started to speak but stopped. 

“New beauty mark?” I said, lightly touching the mark on her neck. 

Jamie closed her sinfully beautiful eyes and groaned. 

“You enjoyed it that much?” I continued. 

She quickly opened her eyes and shot me a dry look. Then, she glanced at the ground before leveling her gaze with mine. Her eyes were knowing. “You’re jealous.”

“N—“

“Don’t lie, Y/N.” She stepped closer, completely cornering me. 

I couldn’t argue with her there. But I could deflect. “I don’t think it’s wise for you to get involved with Leanne in that way.”

“Why not?”

I had to gather myself as her being so close and staring at me deeply was affecting me. She knew. “As I’ve said a dozen times before, she’s a bad influence. And you now taking things to a romantic level will only…make things worse.” I swallowed, fighting the urge to keep looking at her lips.

She licked them and I made a noise that resembled a moan. She laughed. God, I’d never been more embarrassed. 

“So you think,” she replied, sobering me up.

“If you want to be with her, go ‘head,” I pushed her off me and headed to the driver’s seat, but didn’t get far. Jamie pulled me against her. 

“I don’t want to be with her,” she said. 

That shut me up, but I still had questions. “Then why did you let her give you a hickey?” 

“She was drunk.”

I scoffed, pushing her off me again, baffled at the lame cliche excuse. “You don’t have to lie, Jamie.” 

“I’m not,” she insisted and I knew then she was being truthful. There was no trace of amusement in her face nor tone. She sighed. “It’s not a funny story. At all.”

I frowned in concern. “What do you mean?”

She sighed again, avoiding eye contact and playing with her hands. She did that out of uncomfortable habit. I gently touched one of her palms, making her eyes find mine. “Let’s sit and talk about it.” 

We got inside my car.

“Leanne was really drunk…that is the only reason why she…got physical with me,” Jamie revealed. Why did it feel like she wasn’t just referring to the hickey? 

“Got physical how?” I softly pressed. Of course I preferred for her to spit it out, but her being vulnerable with me right now was commendable. I waited with bated breath for her response.

“Just sucked my neck and…I told her to fuck off and she…she got mad.” Jamie rubbed her nape, seemingly processing the situation. “She didn’t put her hands on me, she just thought I was seeing you. So you both being jealous over each other is comedy.” She laughed some, warming my heart. 

But I got serious again.“Is that all that happened?”

Jamie finally looked at me again. “Yeah.”

“So she didn’t hurt you?”

“No, she would never. Not in that way.”

“What way?”

“She would never abuse me.”

“But you said she was yelling at you? Because you protested her advances?”

Jamie nodded glumly. 

“Well, that’s emotional abuse, and that is no way to treat a friend or anyone. I’m sorry you went through that, Jamie.”

“I will always love her, but I think I’m done.”

I almost did a double-take because she never spoke this way about Leanne. She never verbalized wanting to end their friendship. 

“I’m trying to get my life together and I thought she would want to do the same, but…” she shook her head.

I rubbed her arm, squeezing it lightly. “Leanne is such wasted potential. But that is not your problem. She has to be the one to want to make a change. Until she is, there is nothing you, me, nor anyone can do.” Jamie looked so despondent. 

I felt her reach for my hand. “I’m glad you came into my life.” Her words brought a smile to my face. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Come on, bring it in.” I spread my arms and she leaned over the console, hugging me back. I held her tight, now feeling bad for being cold towards her after the day she’d had. 

~~~

I had the day off so I slept longer than usual. It was nice to have uninterrupted sleep. Sometimes I would get calls all types of times to bail out one of the delinquents. It was the life I chose, so I never complained. People like Jame Harrison is why I do what I do. She wanted to turn her life around and was doing exactly that. She wasn’t even in the group home anymore. Instead, she now was put up in her own flat as she attended the school she’d earned the scholarship for. 

As I was baking, she gave me a call. Of course I took it, putting her on speaker as I worked my way around the kitchen.

“Did you just wake up?” Jamie asked.

I chuckled. “That obvious?”

“Yeah, your voice is all husky.”

“Husky?”

“Husky.”

I tilted my head thoughtfully and laughed. “I’ll take it.” I imagined her rolling her eyes and smirking. 

“So whatcha doing? Are you busy?”

“Not too busy, just baking. You?” My voice trailed off into a laugh as she got intrigued by the baking bit. “I’ve been told I’m a good baker. You should see for yourself.”

“I should. What time will you be done? Bring it to my place.”

I smiled. “Are you inviting me to your new home?”

“I just want the goods.” “Yeah, well, you can’t have them without having me.” Then I blushed realizing that sounded naughty.

Jamie huffed out a laugh. “You be flirting with me, on the low.” 

I groaned. “Let’s pretend I never said that.”

“I like it, though,” she added, a grin in her voice.

I couldn’t do anything but grin as well, “Well, you should flirt back. It’s harmless,” I said after a beat.

She chuckled. “Just get over here.”

I wanted to run to her. As the cookies sat in the oven, I showered and found something decent to wear. Normally when Jamie and I spent time together it was either when I did visits to the home and my sessions or us at the church or arts center. It was always professional. This marked the first time we would be having a casual gathering. I was both nervous and excited, over the moon. 

I already knew the address so it was easy getting there. I parked the car and took an optimistic breath as I approached the door. Her vibrant smile greeted me. She wore a crew neck sweater and matching sweats and the cute slippers I had gifted her months back. My heart melted, seeing her wear them for the first time. 

“Hi Y/N,” she said, hugging me. This woman gave the best hugs. I squeezed her thin frame in my embrace and she released the most adorable giggle. She gently took the bag of treats from me and told me to come in. I looked around the simple yet pleasant home. “This smells amazing.” She didn’t waste time taking out a brownie-flavored cookie and biting into it. She hummed blissfully. 

“Like it?” I asked, feeling good about her response already.

“I see why people call you a good chef,” she replied carefully after chewing. “Or baker.”

“Thanks! So, do how do you like the new place?”

Her face lit up again. “I love it. I can’t believe it’s mine. I have a space all to myself, which makes it easier to concentrate and find peace. I owe it to you.” She smiled, taking my hands. 

I squeezed her hands, keeping her gaze. “It’s not all me, Jamie. I couldn’t have helped if you didn’t want me to.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t always make it easy for you…yet you never gave up on me. My own mother did, but not you.” 

“If she knew what you were up to now, I am sure she’d be proud.” She mustered a small smile and I kissed her cheek. This time her sigh sounded content, which made me want to kiss her again, but I refrained. Her next words shocked me. “Do it.” 

“H-Huh?” 

“Do what you wanted to do.”

She knew me so well.

“A-are you sure?”

She laughed. “Look at you you stuttering all of the sudden.” She softly rubbed my cheek. “I guess I’ll do it then.” Her  orbs dipped to my lips before slowly closing as she leaned in. Her soft lips moved against mine. I was immobile for about a second until I allowed myself to accept this blissful reality. I kissed her back just as tenderly, while holding her lower back. Her fingers were so gentle against my face even as she deepened the kiss. 

I picked her up, which kinda made her still for a second, but she wrapped her legs around me. I smiled against her lips and she moved her face to my neck. Now she seemed like the shy one. I didn’t know if she would be comfortable with me taking her to her room, not that I knew where it was anyway. I moaned as she nipped my neck. I walked us to the couch, placing her down on it. She laid on her back and spread her legs so I would fit in between. Her hands ran down my body before she fisted my top, bringing our lips together again. 

I knew she’d be mine.

[glittering-moonlillie]

Damian Wayne Headcannons <3

Damian, at the beginning of the relationship, is never one to be openly emotional with his lover. Since he grew up as nothing more than a killing machine, he never quite reconciled with his feelings, preferring to push them deep deep down until he was nothing more than a stoic. It didn’t help that his father carried the same toxic behavior either. Eventually, with the help of you and the rest of his family, Damian began to slowly open up. Key word: Slowly! The most important thing to remember is to approach the relationship with patience; Don’t force him to open up to you, but also don’t neglect how he might feel. Just being there for him will make it easier for him to express how he feels. 

Adding on to the first note, don’t be alarmed if Damian is not the best at comforting you in the beginning. Like I said, he is terrible with expressing himself emotionally so that leads him to feel awkward when seeing his loved ones show vulnerability. It’s not that Damian doesn’t love you, he just is unsure of what to do. Damian would probably resort to asking for help from either Dick or Alfred (maybe even Jon), which might seem negative at first, but if Damian is openly asking for help with something he is not good at, you should probably be flattered. Damian might also ask how you preferred to be comforted when having a bad day, albeit in a slightly snarky manner. 

Whatever kind of affection you love most will be the one Damian tries to reciprocate with. You like physical attention? Don’t expect to leave Damian’s arms for a very long while. You want praise and affirmation? Damian will whisper soft words of encouragement and admiration until you’re squealing into his chest. Anything and everything he will do his best to fulfill! 

Damian is terrible in the kitchen. I do not care what anyone else says, they cannot convince me that he is a good cook. Growing up, Damian was always served food from his grandfather’s servants or from Alfred (when he moved in with his father). It was only until he rolled up his sleeves and attempted to make you a nice breakfast did he realize that he had no idea how to make pancakes…or scrambled eggs…or anything really. That morning, you woke up to the fire alarm go off and Damian swiftly trying to take out the fire ablaze in one of the pans. 

Safe to say that Damian was banned from the kitchen forever.

Damian treats you like his big teddy bear, but not in the way you think. Instead of the classic “spooning” method most couples would use, Damian likes to pull you halfway onto his chest. This way it’s easier for him to hear your heartbeat and keep you protected in case of any emergencies. It’s also easier for him to pepper your face and neck in kisses in the morning! 

Damian’s sketchbook is filled to the brim with pictures of you. He has this special way of drawing you perfectly, as if you had no physical flaws or imperfections. You can’t put your finger on exactly what he changes however. In reality, Damian just draws you how he sees you. 

Animals. Animals Everywhere. Some nights, usually after patrol, Damian will sneak back home with a new random animal in his arms. “It was a cat on the street!” He would exclaim. “How could I possibly not take him with me when it’s pouring rain outside?”

Somedays, he will bring home more…exotic animals…not unsimilar to Batcow or Jerry the Turkey. 

Damian’s favorite place to kiss you is on the forehead; it’s chaste enough for in-public-situations while also showing how much he adores and loves you. 

This man will tease you, it doesn’t matter if you are his one and only. Teasing you, especially if you are easily flustered, lets him gain a sense of control. The control he desires isn’t out of malice, no, he just prefers being more…dominant 

This doesn’t mean that he isn’t opposed to you teasing him back. If you are able to retort his snarky or jeering, he may as well drop down to one knee on the spot 

On the weekends, you guys spend a lot of time at Animal shelters and Sanctuaries. Both of you have made a habit of adopting the old animals that would have been put down since no one had bought them. You try to give them the happiest life possible before they pass away

Expect him to propose in about 3-4.5 years (depending on how much you knew him before being in a relationship) 

Damian is a cuddle bug, fight me. He isn’t a huge PDA person but once you both are home, he will tackle you into bed and hold you in his arms for hours

Every night before patrol, Damian Wayne kisses you like it is the last time. That's not to say that he thinks he will die, but he does it anyway as a preemptive measure in case he gets extremely hurt.

[molinaskies]

What do you think dark sonic represents (emotionally) about sonic?

Someone sent this one to my DMs and asked to be anon :)

(Eat up, kids)

To me, Dark Sonic represents an overflow of Sonic’s negative emotions, the ones he usually suppresses: anger, sadness, and fear. Sonic is an extremely optimistic kid, and that’s because of the extreme circumstances he faces in life. There’s a saying that floats around the fandom that says “Shadow is just ‘Sonic if Sonic had one really bad day’,” and I think that makes sense. Shadow is jaded and cynical because of how the world has hurt him, but he still wants to do right by people—just like Sonic.

What separates Sonic from Shadow is Sonic’s tenant optimism and positive outlook—without that outlook, Sonic has endless reasons to be as cynical as Shadow, or even more so. So, simply put, Sonic doesn’t let himself feel those feelings for very long, and especially not when other people are around.

That said, Dark Sonic is a trauma response that happens when he severely loses control of his rage. If we also consider that the only time we’ve seen Dark Sonic was in Sonic X, where he was subject to the negative energy of all the fake chaos emeralds the Metarex were producing, we can view Dark Sonic as the polar opposite of Super Sonic.

Recall that in Sonic Adventure, Sonic could still transform into Super Sonic despite the fact that the chaos emeralds were drained by Perfect Chaos. He was able to do that because while PC relied on the negative energy of the emeralds, Sonic relies on the positive energy because Sonic has a good heart. As such, we can reason that Dark Sonic could be achieved if Sonic wanted to harness the power of the emeralds for the wrong reasons, or, in his rage, his heart accessed the negative energy rather than the positive. Or, further, it could be something he truly doesn’t have control over—if he has the emeralds or is close enough to them, the emotions might just take control.

Back to emotional significance, Dark Sonic represents the bottle that Sonic shoves his negative emotions in shattering under the pressure, and because Sonic doesn’t have any coping mechanisms (like relying on his support system—which, in itself, is limited), the result is completely unregulated panic.

[sixthwater]

The Twelve Signs: Behind The Shadow

So many times people are warned about the negative qualities concerning certain signs, like how manipulative a cancer can be or how two-faced a libra is. Rarely do we dig underneath all of the ugliness and figure out where it's coming from. So if you'd like to dive into the darker side with me to figure out how the signs tick, buckle up.

**Feel free to use for Sun/Moon/Rising, everything was viewed from a general perspective

First Sector: These signs are getting used to the world around them. They are looking at the building blocks of their immediate environment to help figure out who they are. Focused on sorting out who they are — on a superficial level for right now, but it’ll give them a good base to always come back to later. They’re more worried about their ethics, family, neighborhood, communication — every small thing that builds up their identity. This is the personal, ego driven group.

Aries: Impulsive, Impatient, Selfish

Aries is known to be a lot. The first thing people usually feel when someone reveals that they’re an Aries is either exhaustion or a sense of dread, because they’re preparing themselves for the extreme qualities that an Aries can hold within them. We should, however, always remember that Aries starts off the zodiac. They have the title of ‘The Leader’ for a reason. Many exciting ideas run through their head, and they don’t want to miss them. They struggle to sit still because that rush of a new adventure is a great feeling. They are a very loving sign, they will take all of their friends with them to share the experience, but if you don’t want to go they’re not going to pass up on it because it doesn’t make sense to them. It’s very simple: you want to go sit down and they want to run into chaos, so that’s what’s going to happen. It doesn’t seem selfish to them. If you wanted something for yourself that they didn’t care for, they wouldn’t stop you and would usually push you to do it. It doesn’t always mean they’re going to bend over backwards and put their own feelings aside though, and they’ll usually express that. It’s basic math in their head. Just as short and straight-forward as this passage is, that's how most Aries are. If you ask them a question, 9/10 they will be able to give you their honest feelings on it without problem and there won't be a need to second guess or dig for hidden truths. They already told you everything.

Taurus: Materialistic, Stubborn, Jealous, Lazy

I think out of all the signs here, Taurus is the most fought for. Benefits of being a Venusian? Who knows. When it comes to Taurus, it’s simple: they know what they want. Some people will see that as being too much to deal with, but it’s very helpful for the native. It helps them to not lower their standards, which is exactly how they get all those labels up there. You will not see a Taurus chasing after something or someone that they do not care for. If they think something is worth their time or love, then they will go after it and cherish it with all of their heart (they are Scorpio’s sister sign, remember). Which I do touch on a bit here in this mega post. The thing with Taurus is that they’re either in or they’re out. So when they’re out, they aren’t lifting a finger let alone looking in that direction. There’s not much you can do to get them to care for it, unless you’re someone that they care about. Even then, there will be a bit of a struggle, but they’ll eventually cave with some bargaining and if they have a soft spot for you. Considering how much Taurus gives, they don’t want things that aren’t worth it to affect their internal balance.

Gemini: Superficial, Fickle, Inconsistent

Gemini! One of the good ol’ most hated signs. I spoke a little on them here, specifically the moon, but we’ll get a bit more general (albeit, repetitive). The usual concern with Gemini is that they either lack concentration, or they tell little white lies for fun. The mind of a Gemini moves quickly. It can annoy the natives sometimes, especially if they are trying to get projects done. It’s not that they can’t or choose to not focus on you or a topic, but if something pops up in their head and it’s interesting, then they want to talk about it. It circles back to Aries slightly; they want to discuss the topic while it’s fresh in their head and yes they promise they will get back to what you guys were talking about. They get interested in so many things, and they feel no need to restrict themselves to just one bubble – especially if they just want to figure out what’s going on with the subject and then go back to minding their business. Gemini’s are definitely aware of when they get themselves wrapped up in sticky situations for the most part, by the way. Once again, it’s not something that they enjoy. It’s part of the mind racing, something fun pops up, and they believe that this is something neat and fun and that they truly, honestly, want to do it. It will die out within a few hours to maybe some weeks, and then it sinks in. They’re a mutable air sign; they don’t like heavy drama. Little white lies that go nowhere? Yeah sure. Actual trouble? You are not finding them there that’s not their game, so if you do, trust them, they didn’t want to be there either.

Cancer: Insecure, Moody, Smothering

People will interestingly see Cancers as either: Innocent and harmless or Manipulative and cannot be trusted. Cancer is a water sign that's ruled by the moon, which controls the tides of our ever changing and extremely powerful ocean. One last thing, it’s also associated with the fourth house, which ties back into early upbringing and what brings us comfort. All of this to say: yeah, Cancers can be sensitive. They will pick up on the mood of others, even if they’re trying to hide it. If the overall energy in the room is not good, it will get to them as well. They want to make sure the person who is upset can be soothed because once they feel better, it dispels the uncomfortable feeling that they’re picking up on. A Cancer can try to ignore it but they will either exhaust themselves in doing so, or flip back and forth between how they’re genuinely feeling and absorbing what the room is going through. They do genuinely want to help those around them, but it’s another way to get rid of them feeling bad — two birds one stone. They’re also not as insecure as they present themselves. It’s usually their ego that gets broken down over the years that makes them need reassurance from their loved ones, or makes them act out in overconfidence, because they’ve been told that they’re too sensitive or needy from a young age too many times. Cancers are still a cardinal sign, but they worry about the emotional and inner world.

Second Sector: Now that the ego has been formed somewhat, it has to make sure it can go out into the world and mingle with others right? The signs here are the middle-men between what’s mine and what belongs to others. Through others we can help cut away pieces of ourselves that we don’t need anymore, or find pieces of us that we didn't even know existed. It can also help polish elements of our personality that might be too explosive. These signs deal all with balancing our ego and relations with others, and sometimes learning how to share with others.

Leo: Conceited, Dramatic, Needs Attention

Our Bright Sun! Yet another sign that I don’t believe gets much hate in comparison. Leos tend to be very charming, lovely, and friendly. They are also a lot more calm than people realize, or they’re not always at level 100, I should say. If a Leo is being dramatic, it’s just for expressive purposes and to get a few laughs out of people. It brings them a bit of joy to see that people are laughing due to something that they did or said. It’s also like a stress reliever in a way, they don’t want to hold their emotions in and they don’t necessarily want to rant or bring the energy down…so let’s make it a little funny while expressing ourselves. They also aren’t usually needy for attention unless they’re proud of what they’ve done or created. I’ve noticed a pattern with a lot of Leo influenced natives and it’s that they’ll quietly work or mind their business, and once they’re done they’ll beam as they show off the finished project. If there’s a piece of their work that they’re excited about: they’ll show it off. If they really like their nails or new piece of clothing, they’ll ask for your opinion as they gush about it. Personality wise, a lot of other things can get them down but not many things can make them doubt that one quality. Even when someone is able to, they’ll seek out someone they trust to help them get back on their feet. It’s not that Leo’s are begging for attention or can’t live without it, but they’re proud of their stuff and themselves, as they should be.

Virgo: Critical, Perfectionist, Petty

We’re already familiar with Virgo’s infamous negative traits. They can be very particular about…well nearly everything. They can be petty, high-strung, and seem like they know what’s best for everyone. With Virgo, everything sources back to them having a bit of control or preparation for what’s around them. They can feel uncomfortable or seriously anxious when thrown into situations without any prior knowledge on how to navigate it. They don’t need a complete manual or guide, but being given some kind of bone would be nice. This leads them to seem very anal about a lot of things in their life because they’re clutching onto that small guide as if it’s a lifeline. If it gets them through a tough time, they’ll most likely continue to follow that advice as if it’s the gospel. Over time they will become more comfortable with tweaking things so it’s more personable — they are a mutable sign after all. It’s not that they’re incapable of change, but there’s a worry that they’ll fail and let someone down or they won’t live up the expectations they set up in their head (which is to be perfect; they saw someone who is already great at it do it so they should immediately be at that level). Most things with Virgo circle back to how their actions will impact those around them and how they can help make things easier or more efficient. They don’t want to risk making a mess because if they do, someone else’s day will be affected by it. If they know a quicker and easier way to do something, they will share that knowledge because they want to help those around them. They get sensitive about being rejected in those fields because it’s a slight attack on their capability and as if the ones they love don’t need them. Virgo’s end up attacking themselves before anyone else does. It’s usually not a case of believing people are incompetent, but they want to help things flow more easily and it’s foolish to not speak up or help if they know how to do it.

Libra: Indecisive, Vain, Flirtatious

This sign is actually very easy to decipher. Once again, they are a cardinal sign, but they’re also an air sign, so this energy is put towards socializing with other people and initiating conversations. This is a great quality for Libra to utilize, and they do so on a daily basis. In my eyes, Libra can masquerade as a Mutable sign…by simply not speaking, honestly. They are a bit like Cancer, in the sense that they can be more docile and they navigate situations by how others are feeling. Or they just avoid them depending on if they have the energy to deal with it. If there’s an argument or conflict going on, and they happen to be stuck in the middle, they’ll use their knowledge of how each person feels regarding certain issues (or even the exact problem) to help mitigate the situation. You won’t hear their own personal opinion, because their focus is to just put the fire out. Unless it’s a casual conversation and everyone is goofing around, you really won’t get insight into their own personal landscape (and the rest of their placements will absolutely influence how quickly this happens, and how loud they will be). All you have to do is either give them space or time and it’ll come pouring out if they feel comfortable around you (ie; you won’t put words in their mouth). Libras are not indecisive, they very much have a strong mind of their own, but they understand that will not help put out a situation that’s already on fire. As for the flirtation, they just like talking to people. It’s their way of making people feel good, and if you throw them a compliment back it’ll probably make them feel good too. They’ll put a little notch next to your name to remember that you don’t take every single little thing they say to heart. They like to socialize, so if that becomes a chore they probably will avoid doing so if they associate it with you.

Scorpio: Vengeful, Paranoid, Possessive

If you’re a local, you know I love to laugh at you guys, it’s out of love. Welcome to the second rare serious post for you! All of these qualities rise from self-defense and regret (with a few other fun emotions mixed in). I wrote in an observation post a bit back that Scorpio placements go through many transformations and ‘ego’ deaths depending on what planet it’s in. Before this starts, the native is very raw and willing to give their all for whatever they cherish. Once they get burnt a few times and they’re in the middle of these lessons, this is when they become a bit closed off and struggle to balance themselves. They get stuck in their head and worry if the people around them will treat them like the last (ex; will this person cheat on me, will they truly understand me, do they like me for me or my image, etc). The infamous ignoring or mean attitude brought out at this stage is a mix of a native who is hiding themselves from getting hurt and a native who is hurt. Once they have worked through their inner struggles and the right people come into their lives, they get a bit defensive and possessive like just a bit. It’s something that must be worked through, but it’s not about control, it’s more about the fear of losing someone and the idea that those people didn’t ever care. Toss in some ‘I know what’s best for you because I’ve been scarred before’ as well. It’s only when a loved one or they have been hurt that they become ‘vengeful’. All these emotions are sourced from their pain and it’s usually a bit of them upset that they became vulnerable in the first place or that they couldn’t protect the ones they love, at least at this stage. As they grow into themselves, these tendencies become less noticeable and they’re more okay with letting people go and more of the stereotypical ‘mysterious’ Scorpio that, contrary to popular belief, doesn’t like to settle down so easily because they’ve become more comfortable with themselves over time.

Third Sector: These signs also focus on relations and closeness, but it’s on a wide scale. They want to connect with as many people as possible and understand the world in a general sense. It brings them a sense of comfort, like a security blanket. They want to see how others are viewing the world and to understand them. What they are doing to impact the world and how they can help their community. These signs, whether they fully realize it or not, are always sensitive to how the world is operating and how those within it are doing. They end up being somewhat spiritual and it can display itself in different ways. 

Sagittarius: Tactless, Irresponsible, Opinionated

Hot, Annoying, Wanderlusting Saggitarius! Many people usually don’t have an issue with them because they’re the wattpad love interest from our teen years. Charming and fun from a distance, probably not all that perfect in execution. The thing with Sagittarius is that they don’t hide their faults. At all, though some will think that it’s still charming. That initial friendly impression people get from them comes from their ability to communicate with nearly anyone and keeping the energy up, but they don’t shy away from conflict or deeper debates — even with strangers. You’re probably very familiar with the side of them that actively challenges people or picks at people’s brains, coming off as somewhat combative even though they genuinely just want to understand how this person is thinking. The interesting thing with them is that they nearly always try to balance the fun with the deep, which is how they come off as tactless. They will instantly challenge someone’s view on something, or just want to investigate for themselves how this person thinks, but they’ll still try to keep the easygoing vibe of it all to make sure everyone else feels comfortable. It’s not for the same reason the water signs do it, but they are not looking to create immediate lifelong bonds with people. They don’t see these conversations as intense as others would. They take all these exchanges as eye-opening interactions and they appreciate them, but that’s it. If they make a friend, cool. If they don’t, that’s fine. Nothing is going to inherently ruin their mood just because someone got offended by how they feel, because they don’t want someone else to be tied down in the same way. That’s not the way to live. They can come off as people who never take anything seriously but aren’t they associated with things such as higher learning, philosophy, traveling, and other things that usually take decent planning and dedication? It’s not that Sagittarius isn’t capable of being serious, but if they’re going to be serious, it’s going to be for a good reason. Besides that, let’s have fun.

Capricorn: Pessimistic, Cold, Status Oriented

The CEO of the zodiac. Since this is my sister sign, I need to defend them a little here. When you think of Cancer, your brain immediately goes to emotions, the mother, home, water, etc. Thinking of Capricorn brings you to stoic, the father, work, saturn, etc. One is closed off while the other is open. The issue here is that Capricorn often gets stuck in these boxes of not being able to express emotion, and then it feels like it can never do it — that’s why Cancer is there. Capricorns are capable of being pretty emotive, and they will show their care and love for you in acts of service, physical touch — something to show you that they’re present and they got you. This quality can get into natives with these placements and it can cause inner conflict because it might conflict with the natural need to express their emotion, but Capricorn doesn’t do that so effortlessly. So if the native does that, they’ll dogpile on themselves or feel embarrassed for it later. Everything about Capricorn is about investments and if it’s realistic or practical. Not in a money sense, but if they’re going to get a new computer within a week they’d just put up with whatever annoyances their computer gives them because it wouldn’t make sense to spend money on a computer that’s on the way out anyway. A lot of people treat their view of the world as pessimistic, and sometimes it can be, but most times it’s how they prepare and get their ducks in a row to keep their engine working properly. They’re also not as cold as described by others. If they care about you, they’re going to make sure you’re taken care of. They may not be soft and mushy, or constantly express it in the most romantic way like in the movies, but you most likely won’t doubt a Capricorn cares for you. There might be contention in the beginning if your love languages differ, but the easiest way to solve that with them is to just be open and honest, and they’ll do their best to modify what they can to make sure you know they care for you.

Aquarius: Impersonal, Deviant, Inconsistent

Despite this being my rising sign, I don’t really talk about them a lot. I touched on them slightly here, but not really in depth honestly. People usually take issue with the fact that Aquarius will seem more invested with those that they aren’t close to as opposed to their actual friends or family. Their focus is usually on trying to make sure everyone is equal and that justice is always being served faithfully, in a way. Aquarians will always worry for those that might not have anyone to protect them, so they want to be there just in case. Their loved ones tend to fall to the wayside because the native is unchanging — they know they’ll always come back to them once everything is said and done, so it’s not something that they necessarily worry about. Their air qualities aren’t pushed towards their inner circles as much as it is the outer world, because they are within the group that focuses on the world at large the most. They could do a bit better with expressing themselves more clearly, but they tend to get wrapped up in movements and public concerns a lot. When pushed by others or provoked over ‘not caring for someone’ as much as they claim, they might act up and be a bit petty about it out of hurt. Their rebellious quality is not only saved for corporations or the status quo; if they are pushed consistently by close ones or nagged enough to do something, they will have a small streak of doing the exact opposite out of spite just to get the annoyance out of their system (because they don’t actually feel the same amount of anger for their loved ones that they do ~big pharma~).

Pisces: Hypersensitive, Escapist, Gullible

Last but not least, a phrase you’re sick of hearing, Pisces! Now, they are a sensitive sign, but they are not fragile by any means. Out of the last four, this is the sign that will most likely believe in the best out of the world. However, because of this quality, I’ve noticed that a lot of them are quite cynical and jaded — but they definitely carry an aura that makes them seem wise beyond their years. Not all of them have to be spiritual, but even more than the other water signs, they can get easily upset by the energy around them. They don’t like being in places that make them feel bad for long periods of time because it can legitimately exhaust them. This leads to that quality of them seeming like they avoid others, because you’ll most likely find them holed up in their room: because it’s familiar and comfortable. Growing up, the Piscean native might’ve been fooled a great number of times, causing them to become quite defensive of who they reveal their true selves to (who is someone quite sweet). Once you crack that shell, you will befriend the stereotypical Pisces who will let you in on all of their drifting thoughts and will always try to get you whatever you need out of love. However they do their best to balance themselves out as they’ve learned that the world is not as pristine and pretty as they came in thinking it was.

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